If you think the World Race stops once you hit American soil, well you've got another thing coming. I think I may have slept on more couches/random beds since being back in the US than I did around the world. Well…perhaps not, but it would be a good toss up. Needless to say, since being home I've been quite the little traveler. I guess it takes awhile to get it out of your system? Here's a short…ish rundown on where I've been and what I've done since being home post race. Enjoy!____________________________________________________________________________

To kick things off right, Thanksgiving was only TWO days after our arrival stateside. Talk about a quick recovery time! A few days to sleep in, get over the jetlag and put together a slide show for the fam. It was a great time to reconnect with everyone and Oh my Gawsh, the food!! Don't even get me started! :) soooo yummy. God bless America.

A week later and I was on the open road headed to Cairo to see my second family at Two Rivers. What a reunion…just like old times!

A quick stop in Nashville with Jess to see Nickel Creek's last hurrah at the Ryman. (amazing!)

Back to Cairo for a week looking at real estate, catching up w/ the fam, and spending time processing and praying through my last year.

A quick jaunt up to Naperville to speak at a church about the WR—what an awesome connection!

A ‘lil side trip to Indiana to see my favorite-soon-to-be-married-WR-couple, Chad and Erin

Straight up to Milwaukee to reconnect with a college buddy and her new ministry

A stop in Madison to visit one of my college girls and another couple with a cute baby! I even squeezed in enough time to take their Christmas photo. (I'm that good.)

La Crosse was next on the list and I couldn't even record all the people I ran into. That's just what happens when you go back to your college town! I love it!

And then, the beautiful trek up to Minneapolis where I slept on a random person's couch at the place my friend was house-sitting for—sooo nice…and weird. A great time of reconnecting with some long lost friends…much needed and so good.

I swung by River Falls to pick up my brother at college (didn't I just do this like 2 weeks ago?!) I finally got a break from driving and a bit of company on the ride back to Rib Lake. Whew! What an awesome Midwest roadtrip.

A few days to chill at home and hang with the locals that I love—Angie, Aaron, Sarah, Brittany, and before you know it—it's Christmas!!

I had about a week at home before I left for the One Thing Conference in Kansas City. Third year running. I actually left for the World Race from this conference last year…crazy.

This year though I tacked on another conference called the Luke 18 Project which was also in Kansas City. Talk about amazing…this was just what I needed and God knew it. It was as though people were putting words to things that were already planted on my heart.

Shawna and I headed back to Cairo for one day. It was a bummer that we didn't have longer to hang out, but we had a plane to catch so we drove up St. Louis to catch our flight to Seattle.

In Seattle, we met up with Jenny, Telfer and Aragorn and drove to Abbotsford, BC for the Secret Place conference with Todd Bentley, Jason Upton and Heidi Baker. After all the world traveling you'd think everyone would bring their passports, eh? Well…with some prayers we made it across the border.

We stayed a few days and rested with Shawna's Auntie Gertie and took a quick tour of Vancouver, almost made it to Victoria…but decided against it at the last minute (sorry jon). We decided instead to drive down to Seattle where we met up with Casey who saved us from sleeping in the truck that night. The next day we met up with other racers Kari, Jenny and Candice—good times.

After a day on the beach where my expectations were exceedingly and abundantly MET, Shawna and I continued on to Portland so I could visit with an old college roommate of mine. We stayed at her cute place, spun some yarn, drank some tea and took some whacky pics on the macbook just like old times!

Soon enough it was time to head out and journey south on Highway 1. Beautiful coastline. Redwoods. Awesome.

We spent one night in Redding, CA at Bill Johnson's Church—Bethel. The first night we slept in the truck. I wouldn't suggest it and neither would the parking lot attendant at the prayer room…so we got a hotel the second night. Our time here was a great eye-opener to what God is doing around the nation and in different tribes.

San Fransisco was the next stop so we could pick up my Cairo friends, Jess and Heather, who flew in to meet us. We spent the night with an old Youthworks friend at a church and toured the city, reenacted the Full House scene, didn't pay to take the ferry to Alcatraz or drive on the Golden Gate Bridge, or ride a street car. Ok. so we did the cheap version of San Fran…we're on a budget. What can I say?

Cruised down to San Jose to visit with another house of prayer. We participated in a Fire in the Night worship and chilled with some great people!

After a quick refueling we headed back to Redding for a few days because Heather was attending the writing conference. We stayed with a Bethel Student who Heather and Jess met in Mozambique…who is actually Australian. Random and awesome…wouldn't have it any other way!

Next we booked it to Atascadero for a pit stop at another Youthworks hook up—even toured some vineyards and saw some pretty ocean views.

Hollywood was the next stop and we had NO hook ups this time. Good thing we made friends with some Christians that night so we had a place to stay! Thanks God! He's really awesome at providing. I love random new friends! We partnered with a Hollywood ministry and got to tour Paramount pictures.  Pray for Hollywood!

Now here's a real long shot…in Long Beach! I had no clue the C-squad World Racers were in town for a 48 hour layover. Divine? I think so. AND it just happened to be Shawna's birthday. So we planned a pretty rad surprise partay with 50 or so special guests. It was awesome to see these guys again and hear more stories face to face!

One last night in Costa Mesa with some lovely ladies Heather knew and we were off to San Clemente for a final view of the beach. We dropped Jess off with some San Diego friends, left Shawna to find her way back north and Heather and I hopped on a plane in Santa Ana headed to Cairo.

And at the end of it all...the purpose in it always, always is LOVE.

November 19^th, 2007 marked the end of the World Race for me. I flew into LA with the rest of the squad and said final goodbyes as we grabbed our luggage at the baggage claim. One final passport check and custom line to stand in and it was over. I gathered my bags and said hi to some racer's parents who had picked them up in LA and soon headed to the terminal where I'd catch my red eye flight to Minneapolis.

It was then that it hit—the first wave of tears. As I walked to my connecting flight alone, something I hadn't done all year (you're never alone on the WR!) reality set in. ALONE. There weren't 40 familiar faces and voices around me. I wasn't watching a mammoth pile of luggage…now I only had my own. I actually had to think about where I was going in the airport…I couldn't just follow the crowd of rowdy Americans! And it ripped at my heart a bit—we really had just parted ways. I remember handing my ID to the ticket lady with tears in my eyes and knew that everyone probably thought I was leaving a boyfriend or something. I even had some flowers from Shawna's mom—haha! I probably was quite a sight.

I also remember getting to my gate and hearing that familiar Midwest accent again as I waited for the plane. There was something comforting about it…but it seemed almost foreign too. I mean, it had been a year since I'd talked to anyone else but my mom from up north! But it got me excited to see my parents in only a few short hours. With bittersweet thoughts I boarded the smallest little plane I took all year to get back home.

And then I recall my first spiritual attack happening somewhere between 2-3 a.m. as I shifted in my half-sleep on the plane and hoisted my knee on the backseat of the man in front of me. BIG MISTAKE. He whirled around and yelled at me, shared a few choice words, made me feel like a major idiot, and woke up at least three rows around us. Awesome. Not only was I dealing with the pain of leaving my teammates, the anticipation of getting home and the utter exhaustion of traveling for over 48 hours straight, I had to have this guy snap on me in the middle of the night.

I calmly apologized and sank back into my seat, carefully avoiding any knee to chair contact and more tears began to form in my eyes—this I call the second wave. And I knew in an instant that Satan wanted me defeated. I had to recognize that this was a spiritual battle. That it wasn't about me and it wasn't about that guy. This was an attack and I couldn't let it get to me. I quietly rebuked Satan and declared who I was in Christ and regained the victory that was in the throes of being snatched away. I closed my eyes and climbed up in Jesus' lap and tried to rest for the remainder of my flight.

6:00 a.m. found me in the great Midwest once again and I had one last quiet moment before I met my parents. It was all so surreal. There they were and they looked the same! It really was amazing to reconnect with them. We picked up my brother from his college dorm (What?! My baby brother in college?) Yep, you miss quite a bit in those 11 months! I stayed awake for a few minutes and chatted it up in the car but couldn't make it home without zonking out. I was blinking my eyes open right as we pulled into our driveway. The feeling was slightly reminiscent of when I was put under when my wisdom teeth were pulled…seriously out of it. I thought I'd get home, take a little nap and be up for dinner, but when my brother came in to wake me up around 5:00 p.m. I just wouldn't budge. When 8:00 p.m. rolled around I finally rolled out of my bed, even though it took a few minutes to figure out if it was still night or morning. :) All I can say is that your own bed truly is one of the best things after the World Race. Cherish it!

A full pantry full of my favorite foods, a stocked refrigerator, your family, couches, TV…whoa. These are the great things about being home. The not so greats for me were the quiet moments when I'd lay in my bed thinking…thinking…thinking…

Did I really just do this trip? Was it only weeks ago that I was across the world? Is tomorrow really Thanksgiving?? Oh my goodness!! ‘Overwhelming' can be the general term of most things going on right about now. It's a word that can be good and bad and generally happens at the same time. If that even makes sense. For you racers out there this will be a common theme, always asking "Does this even make sense?" You'll constantly question yourself and if the people around you are getting you at all. Or more like if you even get yourself. And that's just half the fun. Get excited!!

In honor of my World Race friends and especially to those who will be reconnecting with the American soil in a few short days—this blog goes out to you. Know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and that He always has plans for you. The waves of re-entry aren't big enough to overtake you, so don't worry—you're going to make it! You are loved!!

I'll be posting more about what's happened in the last 6 months or so too—look for those blogs coming soon!

The World Race wouldn't be complete without a few final Top Ten lists from the year.  I mostly post this for some fun and to let you in on a bit of my processing time during our debrief.  I think it's always good to know what you love, what you'll miss and what you're walking away from with a smile!

Top Ten Things I miss from HOME:

10.  Secret deodorant—these roll-ons around the world just don't cut it!

9.  Fructis Shampoo…I just love that smell and haven't seen it in 11 months.

8.  American restaurants—especially Panera's ‘You pick 2' soup and sandwich—mm…

7. High speed/wireless internet …yes I love technology…

6. American bras and underwear—can't find these anywhere! …and after 11 months the ones I have are looking a little thin. I'll be glad to go shopping for necessities!

5. couches—not gonna lie, I can't wait to snuggle into the lazy boy at home and chillax...

4. DESSERT—you never get this after a meal around the world. I can't wait for some good Midwest BARS and brownies.

3. My own bed with clean sheets!

2. Mom's chili with REAL WISCONSIN CHEESE!!

1. A hot shower. No need to explain. Glorious!!

mmmm...good food...good friends...good times...I can't wait!

Top Ten Things I'll miss from the RACE:

10. 50 million modes of transportation all the time (sleeper train, bus, tram, subway, rick-shaw, tuk-tuk, flatbed truck, taxi) Oh I'll miss all of you!

9. Random Food: "What is that?" (shrug) Pop it in…hmm…tasty!

8. SPICY food! Everything's gonna seem so bland at home. :)

7. Spontaneous dance parties with iPod speakers.

6. Watching ‘the Office' with every spare moment of down time.

5. Watching movies (or the Office) on an iPod or laptop computer with 17 other people. "Who's got speakers??"

how many girls can you pile on a bed for a movie??

4. Hilarious homemade videos coming from our group of hilarious people.

3. MARKETS! Cheap and awesome junk from around the world!

2. Massages, girl time, cuddles and hugs.

1. Worship together and seeking God with 50 other amazing men and women of God. I'll miss you all! I love you!

Top Ten Things I WON'T miss from the RACE:

10. Sleeping in around 90 different beds over the course of 11 months.

9. Packing, Repacking and packing again.

8. Hauling said packed bag around everywhere…the train, the hostel, oops we went the wrong way—turn around, onto the bus, the long walk there, up the stairs…now we're "home"

7. The herd mentality. "Just keep walking…I'm sure someone knows where we're going."

...nope...we're definitely lost and these bags are heavy and I'm tired...ugh...

6. Public defecation. If I never see random strangers poo or pee again I'll be happy.

5. Always making at least one other person come with you anywhere…ugh…safety…

4. WAITING. Hurry up and wait is the key phrase in travel. Run to the train station, whew we made it! … then sit in the waiting room for 5 hours until the delayed train arrives…never fails.

3. Keeping Finances. "Can I have some money for food? Are we getting reimbursed for this? Is this on team?" Not sad to see this responsibility go.

2. Traveller's Diarrhea. ‘nuf said.

1. Squatty potties for above mentioned reasons.  Blech!

SQUATTIES 'ROUND THE WORLD

And just for some added fun, I thought I'd give you a tour of the squatties we've seen on every continent!

Utupampa, Peru

 
...yep, that tarp with huge holes is the door!  fun fun!

Mozambique, Africa

 
an even closer photo would show the maggots going crazy at the bottom of this long drop! mmmmm....

University in China

 
yes, those stalls are only 4 ft. tall--say hi to your neighbor!  I say that if you're going to make the step up to a porcelain toilet you might as well have a seat on it...come on people!

Well, that's it!  I hope you enjoyed the tour! 
Now do you see why I'm excited for home?! 
Only a few more days and I can't wait!  Yay!

Another month on the World Race has ended and I can hardly believe that there's only ONE month left! Our most recent month in Cambodia was such a growing time for me. As I suppose anyone would feel after 10 months of ministry, you feel poured out and empty—truly feeling the effects of loving and loving and loving and loving people in a continuous succession of places around the globe. We all joked that the World Race really was meant to be a nine month trip, wasn't it?! Wasn't it?? …anyone? …Bueller?

Through the tiredness, the feelings of being washed up, dried out, fed up and just plain sick and tired of meeting new people to love and pour your heart out to when you just don't have any more love to give!!! ...(sigh)…God taught me about himself and really what he's after.

Isn't it just so easy to choose him when it's easy? I love those times when frankly, I'm just in love with Jesus. Where I can picture myself frolicking in a field of daisies holding hands with the one I love and just being so a part of things that everything just feels right in the world and I know my place and I know I'm loved and things are…GOOD…and you breathe in the air and you just sigh and know that this is right and the love just flows so easily, doesn't it?

And then you're in Cambodia and it's month TEN of the World Race and there are no daisies anymore and you can't remember the last time you frolicked and your heart feels more pain than love because you've seen these things in the world that hurt God's heart and now they hurt your heart too and the only thing that can describe your feelings is…HEAVY. But you hate moping around with this weight and people begin to think you're just becoming disillusioned and tired and maybe a bit whiny because you're thinking about home (weren't there some daisies I remember in that place?? I think I can recall them there??...) And sometimes you just want to roll up in a ball on the floor because you can't fake being happy but you can't handle the weight either and this whole thing is just confusing and what was so wrong with things being EASY Lord?!?

Maybe that's just the thing: We're longing for easiness instead of the perfect love from the Father that made that place easy in the first place.

And so this is what God's been teaching me this month. Choosing to focus on his love, his promises, his word, and his truth and not on the things that those gifts bring to my life. His love ruins me and I'll frolic in a field like an idiot just because I have to because that's the condition of my heart and I'm just so lovesick I can't control it! Or I'll walk into an orphanage and I'll carry in that love and waste myself on dirty little kids that need to be held, that need to be thrown up in the air and spun around once in a while, or that need someone to tell them how beautiful that scribble on a piece of paper looks, or that need a pat on the head or a little wink and a smirk that says I LOVE YOU. I am lovesick here too and it doesn't make sense that I'm not frolicking but yet I feel the same feeling. I'm dirty and sweaty and yet my heart yearns and I am positively bursting with love. The tears fall from my face because I am so in awe of my God and his beautiful little face that I've now seen in ten different countries around the world.

This is not easy. I never really thought it would be and I never thought that I could frolic every day, but I really think that this is the secret. I need to be in that secret place with him and I need to choose to get there even when the circumstances are rough and I'm growing tired and am ready for home and disillusionment is in my peripheral view and it's coming to get me and I'm overwhelmed and want to just stop and lay down and rest and why is the world spinning out of my control?!?!

Oh to just choose him under these circumstances!! What a joy will fill your heart and his and in that place my friends you will be able to frolic and even though the world won't make any more sense than it did before and you won't have an answer to the AIDS epidemic and poverty still smacks you in the face everyday and the injustice rips at your heart, you will be hidden in a place with Jesus that is so sweet and intimate. And then you will hear his voice from that place that says, go hold that little baby over there who has AIDS and sing to him and pray over him and then go sit down on the overpass with those two boys that are begging and just be with them. Yes, buy them food and then just sit like I sit with you because I love being with you.

When God tells you these things it's an honor to do them and you don't have to respond with a snuff and say, "Really God?? Why? Why now…can't you see I'm doing this now?" No I've learned this lesson the hard way. Yes, he really means it and no you don't have to question him—in fact, there can come a time in your life where your joy and your rest comes from a place of serving and loving those around you and not by simply reading a psalm every day. And it doesn't have to kill you to give of yourself if you give when you're in a place of rest with the lord.

And this is where I am now—choosing daily to rest in him and to see him in everything; to submit to his ways and to listen to his voice. It's not about me doing good things or proving my worth or building up my personal portfolio of cute little kid pictures around the world. This is not the point. The point is going where I'm called and loving with the love he gives…and I have to give it. I choose to give it because he wants to frolic with them too. I know how I feel when I'm hand in hand in a field with Jesus and I want them to know that freedom too.

Our last month of the World Race is going to be in China and we fly out of Bangkok tomorrow afternoon.  Many of you knew this and were anticipating it, but what you may have not been anticipating is the soon to be almost complete lack of communication from China on this blog.

For security reasons none of us will be able to access the World Race site from mainland China because the government monitors all internet usage and we don't want to send red flags about what we're doing there. Any emails sent to me or sent out from my email need to be coded so that any Christian words (God, Jesus, Bible, Christ, Holy, Church, World Race…even Olympics is a key no no word) are not included in an email. The Olympics are going to be held in China in 2008 and so the government is hyper sensitive about any mention of them. They even monitor any groups of white people over seven near Beijing, so we'll even have to look out for that!

We'll be able to post from Hong Kong when we arrive and from there at debrief so hopefully I won't be completely silent on here about China. Please, please be in prayer for all of us as we head into this last country—for safety and discernment and for favor with the Chinese people and government. We don't want to reveal any of the full-time missionaries we'll be working with so pray for that as well.

These are the kids praying for us at the orphanage in Cambodia before we left.  I hope your prayers are as concentrated as theirs were!  So cute! :) 

Seriously though, thanks to everyone who's been with me throughout this entire journey and I can't wait to see all my friends and family at home—you are greatly missed and I love you!!

Here's the lowdown on my schedule for the rest of the year:   (I'm never this organized! right mom?)

Oct 12th                           Orientation at YWAM in Hong Kong

Oct 13th                           Last Race around Hong Kong

Oct 14th                           Group Meeting and specifics on ministry and training

Oct 15th - Nov 10th          Ministry that's "off the map"

Nov 11th                            Travel Day to Hong Kong

Nov 12th - 18th                 Debrief in Hong Kong

Nov 19th                          Flight home to LA and then Minneapolis

Nov 20th                         HOME SWEET HOME!

Nov 22nd                        Thanksgiving with the Fam (can't wait to see you all!)

My heart has once again been ripped out of my chest. In the midst of seeing other people's pain I find myself looking more and more selfish. Ah, we're never quite perfect are we? Let me explain this day…

We pulled up to the orphanage today in our little red tuk-tuk like we always do every morning at nine. Before we could even get out the kids had jumped into our laps squealing "Mommie!" in delight and practicing their favorite English phrase, "How are you? I am fine, thanks. And you?"

I usually love this exchange of love right away with these precious kids…but this morning I was more annoyed than anything. I didn't want to be the jungle gym today. I didn't want kids grabbing the back of my arms and pinching my "muscles." They're so amused with any bit of fat on a person…as all of us can attest to, they love pinching the back of your arms. We on the other had don't love it so much. Usually you just sort of laugh a little and pull away or give them a hug so they stop doing it.

I finally managed to get out of the tuk-tuk which only made the chaos build. Mind you this is no different than any other day at CPCDO, but today I just couldn't do it. I felt empty in the loving kids department, like I had been used up and couldn't even fake my way through another hug. I had to get out. So I headed towards the baby room. I thought at least there I won't get poked and prodded at, I'll just get cooed at by beautiful little faces. The worst that could happen is that I'll get peed on, but come on…like that hasn't happened before. I sit down and pick up Peter, one of my favorite babies and I am craving a place to just be alone with this kid so that I can escape everyone else and not feel that I have to give everyone something…hug me, touch me, give me a smile, play that hand slapping game with me, hold this baby, come over here, draw this picture, let me squeeze your gut and let's laugh about how fat Americans are. I just didn't want to deal with it. So the babies were my refuge.

Until I sat down. One of the woman volunteers sat down right next to me and started grabbing my arms just like all the kids do and laughing and talking to the rest of the volunteers in Khmer.   ...oh joy...   Then a sweet little girl comes up and tries to give me a giant hug right over top of the baby's head. She almost crushes the kid and I pull her aside and give her a half-hearted one armed side hug. Before you know it the volunteer lady is poking at my side, lifting my shirt up to see just what this fatty stuff looks like and there's now about seven kids around me wanting something and I've got a baby in my hands who looks like he's about ready to drop a bomb right in my lap.   ...sigh...  Loving on people at an orphanage is not always what it's cracked up to be or quite as nice and cute as the pictures look. Sometimes it takes all you have to not just scream and run away.

                                             looking good Amanda...real good...               

And then it happened. I glance up from the mini-circus surrounding me and I see a big commotion outside. They've pulled up the truck and are packing little backpacks inside with bed rolls. I set little Peter down so he can nap and I stroll outside to see what's going on. It's not every day that the truck pulls up, either more kids are going to the hospital or something else is happening. I spy a few of the older boys looking like they are going to burst into tears any minute as they place backpacks inside the trunk. The other kids are looking on trying to piece things together as well. I head inside to find Malis and Una, some girls from the church who have been joining us at the orphanage this week. They're fantastic translators so I asked them what was going on. Malis said that today seven of the boys are being transferred to another orphanage in the province of Battambong, over 3 hours away from Phnom Penh. She told us that it was because this center was too small and that they were getting so many new kids that they couldn't all stay. And so the seven packed up their things and loaded up the truck that would send them away.

By this time many of the kids had figured out what was happening and had started to cry. As I looked out across the room I could see little pockets of children sitting and whimpering. The seven boys were fed an early lunch in the kitchen area as their friends looked on. Many couldn't even eat because they were crying so hard. Everyone stood around looking on solemnly with tears. As I watched this process I couldn't help but catch a wave of tears too. This was their last meal with their family as they've known the word ‘family' for probably their whole lives. It was like they were getting ripped away from their one security, this dirty little overcrowded orphanage that they all call home.

Everyone gathered outside to see the boys off and as I watched everything unfold my heart betrayed me. I wasn't going to cry. I was merely going to try and offer consolation to those who were crying. I needed to be strong. In reality, I barely knew these boys, but images of them running up the stairs at the water park with a tube and flying down the waterslides with glee flashed through my mind. I saw them now with large tears streaming down their faces as they had to say goodbye to their friends, their brothers, their family. And I knew I couldn't just console, I needed to grieve too.

I watched as little Brad, whose pants are always sliding off, place in one of the boys hands his only possession, a little pink ceramic elephant. This little toy was cracked and broken in more than one place but it was Brad's pride and joy and it was perhaps the one thing that was truly his own. I know how much he loved that thing and I knew what it meant for him to give it to his friend as they parted ways.

I saw another boy give up a bracelet that he had and place it on the wrist of a boy heading off to the province. I remember him a few days ago proudly shoving that same bracelet that was on his wrist in my face beaming and awaiting my approval. I remember shaking my head and laughing about how silly it was then, just a simple bracelet…but it was anything but silly now. This was an exchange of love and of sacrifice. That boy loved that bracelet, but he gave it up for his friend with tears in his eyes, not because he was losing a bracelet, but because he was losing a friend.

The sniffles and the whimpers and the tears flowed freely as they bade their goodbyes. We gathered around them to pray and I huddled over a group of young children who clung to one another as if the only things they had in the world were each other…and now they didn't even have that anymore. There came a point where I could only pray silently as the tears and the pain raked me as well.

I watched as this little shaking huddle embraced each other in sweat and tears and knew they never would have let go unless they had been forced. After awhile the driver made them separate and load into the truck. The sound of grieving children had never been such an assault on my ears before. I closed my eyes and felt their agony. It was unbearable.

And I remembered how only hours before I had felt such a sense of annoyance at their very presence.

Lord, forgive me.

I know not how to love and I know not this kind of grief.
I know not this kind of life and the suffering I see before me.

I cannot even bear to look at it.

I want it to stop so badly, yet I feel powerless to change it.
So I do the only thing I know how to do and that is weep and pray.

I grieve along with them.

I hug them with the same tears strolling down my face too.
I wipe away their tears and just hold them.

Words are unnecessary now, all they need is love.

And I have to give it.
The only thing required of me is love.

Lord, help me not to hold back this great gift!

A true "Asian" pic of our little team at our house at New Life in Christ Church in Cambodia.  You've just gotta frame your face with your hands or give a peace sign--what's a picture without that??

We're partnering at an orphange here in town and the kids are SOOO adorable.  I want to pull an Angelina Jolie and take one home with me too!  This particular orphange (we've been to lots throughout the year) is very poor and SUPER dirty. 

(That's me leading 'aruchacha', a favored kid's song around the world.  These kids even have a Khmer version...hilarious!)

Many of the kids were getting sent to the hospital with fevers and diarhhea and so we dropped about $50 bucks on some cleaning supplies and took over the place with Mr. Clean (or at least the Cambodian equivilant)  I've washed like I've never washed before!  (Mom, you would be so proud of me!)  We tore their beds apart and did a deep clean on everything, down to their blankets, pillows, bed mats and mosquito nets.  I almost spared the details, but couldn't help telling that on one of the nets I found a huge glob of caked on poop.  Unbelieveable.   So yes, I spend my days washing feces off of kids beds...how glorious!  Cleaning poo for Jesus.  mmm...mmm... I just pray that now the spread of infection and disease will slow because of our cleaning efforts. 

So after our mornings rangling little orphans we head back to the church and prepare for our English classes that we teach in the evenings.  Above and below are pics of the class Steph and I co-teach.  We've got the beginners and they are stinkin' adorable and are very eager to learn English.  The age range is quite a jump from 8-20 so we try to be as cool as we can for all ages (key word: try).  Everyone seems to love singing "Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?"  and hey, they learn how to answer questions...and sometimes we really bring cookies.  How's that for cool?

On Saturday's we have youth group and were asked to lead worship, do a game, and tell about our travels around the world and what we've seen God do in other nations.  It was an awesome time as we shared a powerpoint with pictures from the trip and had them ask questions.  These teens are really on fire for God and it's awesome to see their passion...even if our worship wasn't quite the Hillsongs style they're used to.  I don't think we rock it in quite the same way!  ha.

The girls and I have also been leading a small group Bible study with some of the older girls before English class.  They're really into understanding the bible and ask some killer questions.  Learning the vocab is probably the toughest thing for both them and us.  You try explaining longsuffering, persecution, faithfulness and conceited once and see how fun it is.  I think sometimes we look like idiots trying to find new ways to explain words we'd never have to explain in America--but it's still a lot of fun!

And sometimes we take our new friends out for pizza!  Or did she take us?  Anywho, Sok Lee has quickly become a favorite among our group.  Her English is near perfect and she's full of stories of Cambodian history as well as Christianity in the South East.  I think we're all sad she's moving up to Siem Reap this week.  :(  Boo!

Nevertheless, we're all having a blast here in Cambodia and we've got two full weeks before we head back to Bangkok for our flight to Hong Kong.  Can you believe we only have ONE country left?  Time sure does fly!

Revelation 1:17-19     Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one.

I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.   Write therefore the things that you have seen,

those that are and those that are to take place after this.

I'm currently in Cambodia after a fantastic 5 day debrief on Koh Samet Island in Thailand and an awesome bus ride from Bangkok to Phnom Phen.  (when I say awesome, I mean long and bumpy and loud...welcome to travel in third world countries!)  We're just getting settled here and are living at a church called New Life in Christ.  We'll be teaching english classes at the church and partnering with an orphanage...but I'll expound more on that in blogs to come. 

For some strange reason Bangkok is still heavy on my heart and the faces of the girls I met at the Well are still at the forefront of my mind.  I didn't know I would find myself so attached and so passionate about their lives, their struggles, and their stories.  So as an attempt at closure, I post this blog which is not my own, but that of Jim Larson the founder of the Well in Bangkok with his wife Judy.  Please check out their stories and blogs on their website: www.servantworks.com/well
________________________________________________________________

She had no business barging into a Pharisee's house, let alone bothering his honored guest. She was simply so overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude that social appropriateness was her last concern. She had already suffered enough shame that a little more wasn't going to hurt, certainly not in this case.

Simon, the Pharisee, and his guests squirmed at the sight and sound of this woman sobbing uncontrollably, drenching his feet with her tears and wiping them with her hair.

We can understand their discomfort at a very strange situation. But most disconcerting was the fact that Jesus Himself didn't seem to mind. What kind of prophet was this, to allow such a woman touch him so inappropriately?

It was a teaching moment; a chance to explain to a Pharisee what God is really after.

Jesus sets up a simple parable of a lender who forgives two debts, one large and small. Which debtor will respond with more love and gratitude? Simon took the point.

What kind of prophet was this, to allow such a woman to touch him so inappropriately?

"I suppose the one who was forgiven more." But Jesus wasn't finished. Turning His full attention to the woman, He asked Simon a far more pointed question.

"Do you see this woman?"

Hundreds of thousands of women in Thailand are trapped in its huge sex industry. "Toi" is a virtual orphan. Her mother died when she was a toddler and her father left home to become a Buddhist monk. With two children from a deadbeat father, and only a sixth grade education, Toi felt she had no other choice but to work as a prostitute.

"Am" has 4 children from two different fathers. The first is in jail for drug dealing, the second died last year. Her drug-addicted mom pressures her for money, even with so many children. On top of that, her younger sister also went to prison for drugs, leaving behind a small daughter for Am to take care of. With so many children crying for food, Am made the difficult decision to work as a prostitute.

"Plah", 25, recently finished a nine-month jail term for a violent offense—she attacked a former boyfriend, probably high on amphetamines. Prior to that she had spent eight years working as a dancer in Bangkok bars, and was in and out of jail on drug charges. She has two children from two different past relationships.

"Do you see this woman?"

Prostitution makes people, including Christians, squirm and flee. Certainly part of that is for good reason—it is an ugly and dangerous business. But there is also a bit of Pharisee in all of us, judging sinful behavior without concern for the heart. Yet when we pause to look deeper into the eyes of the prostitute, we see an image of the living God dying for lack of love, often hopeless, driven to such a life out of desperation.

My wife and I moved to Bangkok last year because God showed us this very picture. We felt deep compassion, knowing how many were trapped in this life. Yet even so, when we first began meeting some of the women working in Bangkok's hundreds of bars we were as nervous as anyone might be. But we quickly found them very ready to respond to our desire for friendship. Perhaps they know the game of false love so well that they recognize the real thing far quicker than most, and value it more. Some, like Am and Plah, have come to know Jesus, left the industry for good and are now in a work-study discipleship program begun by our ministry. Others like Toi are still in the business, but we consider them to be dear friends. Toi calls us "Mama" and "Papa".

"Do you see this woman?"

She was a sinner, Simon was right about that. She had made choices. Indeed, the majority of the women we meet also know they are responsible, that even their tough circumstances do not justify compromising themselves and the men they serve. But that guilt only adds to their bondage. "I am no good because I do this," we have been told. In fact, some see this life as all they are good for.

How many sinners go unreached because Christians do not really see their hearts? We see their behavior and back away uncomfortably, oblivious to the deep desire for love and significance that drives them to sin in the first place. The world is a cruel place, and adorable but mistreated girls and boys grow up to be prostitutes and drug dealers. Most of these have never had someone let them know they are important apart from feminine seductiveness or male toughness. So love-starved they are that when someone finally does look them in the eye and show that they are truly valued, even the toughest or most seductive exterior can melt completely away.

That woman at Simon's house gave Jesus an amazing gift of love. Similar gifts await those who will follow Jesus in showing His forgiveness to those who don't even know what forgiveness is. You don't have to feel like a gifted evangelist. We sure don't feel like we know what we're doing, but we do know that any Christian can love, can show someone his or her unconditional value to God.

All we need to do is open our eyes.

_______________________________________________________________________________

My eyes were truly opened during this last month of ministry.  I saw things I never asked to see nor did I want to see, but I allowed God to take me there.  I allowed Him to reveal His heart for these girls and this place and I'll never be the same . . . only because I've seen.

You can also "see" and you don't necessarily have to book your flight to Bangkok tomorrow to take in all the sights and sounds of the city.  There are things you can do even from your computer chair at home.  Check out the Well's website and read Jim's blog and the stories of the girls he tells about. 

Then contact their office in Illinois and order some Christmas cards or jewelry--you're going to buy this stuff anyway right?  Christmas is just around the corner!  Why not support some women who have made it out of this horrendous cycle and are on their way towards a life of freedom in Christ instead of supporting WalMart? 

Ok, this post is not meant to guilt-trip you into supporting a ministry, but rather to urge you to stay informed on these issues.  The world needs people who SEE!