I have to admit, my blogging adventures have reminded me of sitting in the driver's seat of my little '88 Plymouth Horizon at age 15 learning how to drive stickshift. I don't know how long it took me get it right...but I know it wasn't an easy process.
Figuring out how to apply just the right amount of gas and letting out the clutch at the same time to smoothly put the car in drive is just not part of our innate human ability. I thought I'd never get it. I remember sitting at the bottom of a hill frustrated beyond belief after clunking out the engine 5 or 6 times. I turned and asked my Mom if she had brought any sandwiches because obviously we weren't going anywhere.
I kind of feel like I'm in that place in life right now. That in between place - like learning to drive all over again. Except, this time it's not my car, it's my life. At times, I've revved the gas too much and lurched forward only to come to a sharp and grinding halt. Other times I've pulled out the clutch without putting enough gas behind me to get through an intersection. Both result in me not getting very far and making whiny quips about sandwiches.
And so my blogging has sat at the bottom of the hill. Just waiting. Waiting to go somewhere.
Until I hear these faint words ringing in my ears,
"You gotta start somewhere."
I know she's right, but it seems so hard. So trite to write about the struggle or the mess. So hard to be consistent or engaging. And then I read this comment from an earlier post:
"Dear Amanda,
Please keep writing. I know you are far away, but I enjoy hearing what is going on in your life. No matter how boring or seemingly insignificant it might be to write about. I just like knowing what is happening. Life is crazy busy, yes. But there are moments when things are waiting to begin."
Moments when things are waiting to begin. Yes. It's true. This is a moment I'm seizing. I have to start somewhere. Can't sit at the bottom of the hill all day...no one brought any sandwiches! :)
And so...I start again. Turn the key. Feel the tension of the gas and clutch and pray for smooth sailing. We're going somewhere folks! We've got to! We were made to drive!!
Do you ever have days
where you just want to quit everything?
I had one of those recently.
I actually told my roommate that I wanted to quit life. I know...a little overdramatic, but would
you expect anything less from me? :)
I've just been feeling a
little stuck in more areas than one lately. It's like I've hit a plateau in certain situations and just
can't seem to gain ground. I'll
give you a few examples:
Job hunt: It's the middle of July and I still
haven't secured a summer job yet.
I've applied at tons of places around town, even to places that aren't
hiring and haven't heard a peep back from anyone. I've had 2 job interviews from places that basically offer
me a job in the interview, and then they don't call back. I feel like I'm getting nowhere.
Shiloh Designs: This is the new business
I've started selling some of my crafty items that I hand make. I've started spinning my own wool from
the sheep and goats and am doing custom made hats, scarves, mittens, hair
accessories, and creating jewelry and all kinds of other fun stuff. I've put myself out there a bit, with a
little bit of good feedback, but have not even gotten to a place where I'm in
the profit margin yet. I'm just
starting an Etsy.com website to sell my designs online...but there's a bit of
fear within me that things will just sit there and not be sold. Not the most optimistic viewpoint...but I'm
being honest here.
AIM Support Status: If I
continue to be really honest, this has been one of my biggest areas of struggle
lately. I find myself in about an
$800 deficit in my support account with AIM. I'm continuing to work from home doing World Race Admissions
(which I LOVE!), but not meeting my support goals has been super
discouraging. Now, here's the part
where I'll continue to be real.
This is my own fault. I
haven't been focusing my efforts on support raising. I just don't want to.
If there's anything I want to quit, it would have to be support
raising. There's nothing in me
that likes to talk to people about making a decision to support me
monthly. I've avoided it and it's
gotten me in a hole. The only
thing you can do when you're in a hole is climb out right? Haven't I heard that somewhere before?
And this is why I can't
quit. I wasn't made to live in a
hole. I wasn't born to plateau for
the rest of my life. I'm not one
to give into the fear of the unknown...even in endeavors that seem daunting or
things that I have to put myself out there for. This is a season that I must press through to receive a
breakthrough because I believe and trust that God has promised it and won't
leave me hanging or sitting at the bottom of a hole. He wants me to succeed and he's designed me to be able to
work with him. So I'm choosing to
do my part. Even though it's icky
and I hate it all right now.
(Is that ok? I feel like such a crappy missionary
admitting this stuff on my oh so public blog. Hello, my name is Amanda Dums and I hate support
raising! There. I said it.)
Just yesterday I was
chatting with my roommates over dinner about what motivates people and realized
that I am motivated by connection.
I value relationships with people and I always want to steward them
well. I don't want to come across
as a beggar or put people at an inconvenience or awkward obligation to me. I think that's why I enjoy writing
newsletters. I can tell people
about my situation without really directly asking. I think my inward hope is that since I came part of the way
by writing the letter, people would come the other half of the way and meet me
there. But this really isn't fair
of me. I'm creating unrealistic
expectations for people and that's not valuing them. (gosh, I'm learning a lot!) I really am sorry if any of you have felt under-valued or
not stewarded well by me.
I still find myself about
$450/month short of my goal and have 3 months to raise this amount before I
loose my paycheck with AIM. I'm
not driven by goals though, I'm driven by connections. I actually signed up for
a support raising class online through AIM that will give me tools to be
effective in connecting with people and growing my support team. I'm really looking forward to it
actually-I think I really need some new tools and help getting moving again.
This next season for me is
going to be focused on moving ahead...climbing out of holes...establishing a
precedent...gaining profit in my business...connecting on a deeper level in all
areas of my life. I'm not going to
quit.
In fact, I've put aside
some time this week to post my stuff on Etsy.com and I'm booked for a booth at
the local farmer's market next Tuesday.
I'm hopeful and feeling confident about that. I know God's going to
provide enough for me to live on and to pay for my 2nd year of
Bethel School of Ministry. He's
called me here for a reason and I won't give up this easily. I will have my tuition on the first day
of school. My business will be
successful and a blessing to others.
I will put my heart into support raising. I will partner with God and do my part.
Hope really is good
medicine. A favorite quote from
our pastor Bill Johnson here in Redding:
"Discouragement is just a waste of time." Amen. No more
wasted time, I'm filling my days with hope! Have your days been filled with hope lately? I'd love to hear about it!
*pictures are from my little booth last week. Enjoy! If you like anything you see, let me know and it can be yours! :)
I've been thinking a lot lately about this whole invitation thing and how it's so necessary in building good relationships. (I even titled my blog after this concept and extended an invitation to relationship in my last post.) Let me divulge a little about why invitation is so meaningful for me...
I think this is a fact: Everyone loves to be invited. Whether it's to a party or an outing, a basketball game or just hanging out, even the way someone treats you when you're in their presence speaks to the level of invitation they are extending. We love knowing that someone wants us to be with them. It just feels good.
I love inviting people over to our house. To me there's nothing like being hospitable or hosting a party. The goal in this is creating comfort for whoever is over. You know that 'I belong here' feeling where you can be somewhere or with someone and it just feels good? There doesn't have to be an agenda or entertainment, but being together just seems right and nice? I love that and I crave relationships like this-ones that move beyond invitation and into a knowing intimacy.
Since it's the last week of school at BSSM, one of our teachers, Kris Vallotton, encouraged us in attaining our dreams and walking into our destiny by knowing who is inside of us. He said:
Who Jesus is to you is who Jesus will be through you.
He had us close our eyes and picture Jesus. There are hundreds of different ways people could picture Jesus. He could be working with wood, walking on water, spending time with prostitutes, hanging on a cross, feeding the multitudes, or just staring into your eyes.
And stare is what he did to me. :) I saw Jesus looking intently into my eyes the way a husband would to a wife. He took my face into his hands and just smiled at me, his eyes not moving from mine. I could feel him drawing me in, inviting me into a deeper place of intimacy with him. It was intense...but really quite comfortable too. It's what I always want from him-an invitation.
Jesus to me is an intimate friend and a comfortable place-of course he's all those other amazing things at the same time, but to me he's a safe place. And I believe that part of my destiny is to be a safe place for others as well. I think a large part of my future will involve creating environments for people to flourish in, inviting them to a place where they can be known.
I'd urge you to take just 5 minutes and picture Jesus. Simply ask-who is Jesus to me? And see what he shows you. If he's hanging out with the poor and brokenhearted, you probably won't feel fulfilled in life unless you're doing the same thing. If he's healing the sick and casting out demons, you too will probably help lead people into health and wholeness. Who is Jesus to you? What does that say about your destiny? And what steps can you take now to move you closer into realizing that?
I would LOVE comments below about what he showed you!
It's been almost exactly a year since I've posted a blog on this site. I quite literally just up and abandoned it last May. I'm sure it got lost in the shuffle somewhere between packing up the Community Life program (and all my belongings) and transitioning from Gainesville, GA to Redding, CA to attend Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry.
It never really was my intention to let it lie dormant for so long, but I guess time gets the best of you and priorities get shifted. In all honesty, I liked the freedom of NOT writing. It's as if I had placed a burden on myself that I 'should' update and write more often. Not that I was the most consistent blog writer before, but when I wrote it was to inform, intrigue, inspire and sometimes even entertain you. The only drawback was that I think I stopped short of inviting you...and that's what I want to remedy on this go round.
I've been learning recently that one of my biggest struggles revolves around
Relationships.
Now before you get all concerned and think that I've cocooned and become some crazy socially awkward misfit out here in Cali, let me explain. I have a lot of friends. Most of you reading this blog I would probably consider a friend, but I wonder how much you really know me. Do you know my heart?
I can easily answer that for you: No. You don't. Because I haven't really let you in.
Sorry about that.
I let you in deep enough to know me pretty well, but in reality, there's so much more to me that you don't know. And that's a bit scary...at least for me.
Because now I have a choice to make. Do I let you in or continue to keep you at a distance? Will my silence be a shield around my heart or will I take one step closer and see what happens?
Decisions...Decisions...
I hope you can already tell that the decision I've made has accounted for the shift in my motive for blogging once again. I want to let you in. I want this blog to be about an invitation...an invitation into RELATIONSHIP with me.
Part of a relationship involves a Response from you. I've often pondered putting up a blog this past year, but wondered who would benefit from it...who would care...what is the point?
I've come to the conclusion that the point is Relationship. It's what I want out of this blog. I want it to be a place of connection and so I'll need your comments and encouragement to continue in this venture. I actually really like writing and want to share some tidbits about life with you, but I'm just not into throwing my random thoughts out into cyberland for my own benefit. This isn't blog therapy for me. This is connection time and I need you.
I've also recently learned that I'm not really good at asking for what I need, so writing this blog is a huge Risk for me. Even riskier than praying for this blind lady, if you can imagine that! If I can take risks in praying for people and see God show up, surely I can take risks to grow deeper in relationship with you!
Here's what I need:(deep breath)
I need to know you're out there. Did you read this blog? Will you comment just so I know I'm not writing to a brick wall?
I need your encouragement. Have you seen something in me that is commendable and good? What are those things? Will you share them with me?
I need to know what you want. If you're visiting this blog, you most likely know me in 'real life'. How can we strengthen our relationship? What do you need? If I don't yet know you-welcome! I'm glad you're here! I always like making new friends! What do you want to hear about on this blog in the future? How can I serve you?
So, yes... R is for Relationship.
It's the Reason I'm Revisiting this blogsite.
I'm Resurrecting writing as a means to build my Relationships.
I have this hope that it will Revive my spirit...and hopefully yours too?
"If you want to go fast, go alone- if you want to go far, go together." -African Proverb
I'm tired of getting nowhere fast. :) Won't you go somewhere with me?? Please leave me a comment and let me know where we're going!! Thank you!
This girl is important to me. You'll notice that in the video above I say that she gives great hugs...and that hugs are important to me-I think I need to expound on this a bit...
Toya not only gives the best big hugs around, but she gives them at exactly the right time. Perhaps you know the moment-those times where you're crying out for someone to just notice that something's wrong but you don't want to say anything...she's there. When you think you're escaping from everyone and are about to sit in your own self-loathing...she's there. I don't know how many times she's run me down to wrap me in a warm hug and pray for me. Sometimes I don't quite know how she does it.
We have this interesting relationship, Toya and I. She says I'm the one that always makes her cry, and interestingly enough, she does the same to me. There's a heart connect and a God given love for each other that we share. We've walked through some tough stuff in only a few short months, and I know it's not over. We've had too many times of pressing in to this financial issue together to walk away in defeat.
I know that Toya is called to be here.
I'm looking to God for provision and I'm asking you to pray for my sister. Exciting times are ahead for her. In just the short time she's been with us in ComLife, Toya's learned that she's defined by her identity in Christ and not the role she plays. She used to be an Event Planner and rubbed elbows with all kinds of hoity-toities with money. Now that she's pursuing God's calling, she's finding that the value she found in her job is wasting away. But lets be clear-this exuberant, loving, kind, creative, and hospitable woman IS valuable and we need her...just like she needs us. ...just like we need you.
Toya's got a charge from God to reach African American churches and mobilize them for missions. She has a huge heart for Africa and wants to bring church groups there to minister as well. There's no stopping this 'idea-machine'-she's going places. Would you consider helping her on her journey? She needs $3000 by June 1st to allow her to stay in ComLife!
Visit her blog at: www.toyamac@myadventures.org
Click the 'Donate Here' button to make a financial contribution. Thank you!
Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy this tasty little video I put together from a random adventure some of my roomates took trying to fix a lightbulb on their car....sounds pretty boring, but it actually is pretty good for a laugh. ....at the very least a chuckle or two! ;)
Enjoy it and seriously check out our ComLife page at www.adventures.org/communityand seeing if you or someone you know would be interested in joining our community in September 2009. We're taking referrals! Ages 18-35 should start their applications now! You don't want to miss the ride of your life!!
As a community, we take two mission trips together a year and this spring we decided on heading to Kensington, Philadelphia where AIM used to have a huge missions base. We've heard plenty of amazing stories from people at AIM about Philly and the ministry there, we've all read The Irresistible Revolution by Shawn Claiborne who's one of the founders of the Simple Way, a community endeavor we've modeled some aspects of ComLife after. AIM's actually donated a building to the Simple Way's Potter Street Community and we had hopes of getting to see their community in action while we were in town.
I'll suffice it to say, we had no such luck in any of these plans materializing during our trip at all. In fact, this weeklong mission trip to Philly looked drastically different than any other mission trip I've ever been on. Why? Well for starters, we hardly ministered. Our plans for the week took a much different focus because we realized that there was some ministering that needed to happen within our own team.
In my last blog I talked about risk and its importance in building community. This week for us as a community was an important one. I think we could have had a great week in Philly with a packed schedule of ministering to the hurting community of Kensington. I think God would have blessed us and we would have come home with some amazing stories under our belt. But as a community, we had hit our wall, and there were some long overdue conversations that needed to happen within our group.
So since our schedule was pretty wide open we took that time to begin to talk about some things that we had been hiding. It was a risk. We didn't have to open up about these things. We didn't have to spend hours each day walking through the crap that was going on in our hearts and minds. We didn't have to be honest with where we were at. We could have just told ourselves that we were fine and moved on. We could have believed that this community wasn't that important, after all, some people are leaving soon anyway so what's the point? Why dig in now? Just let it rest.
No one cares anyway.
It's amazing how those lies settle in so quickly and easily, huh? But as a team we cast them aside and said, No, we are going to talk about this. We are going to be frank about how things affect us. We are going to be honest about what we're feeling and how we've been hurt by people's words and actions. We committed to this community and we are committed to this process.
So we dove in. We started by taking a few minutes to write some things down under three categories: Bright, Blurry, Blind. The bright things were the conflicts everyone in the community knew were taking place. Things like us always being late to meetings and never knowing who's driving or what vehicles are available to use-these things always spring some kind of conflict. The blurry things were the conflicts that are there, but no one really talks about. Maybe they are alluded to or talked about in side conversations, but are never really resolved or communicated clearly. Blind things were conflicts that we were having personally, but have never told anyone about. These are the resentments and issues that we've been harboring in our hearts that never reach resolution because they are hidden within.
After about 15 minutes we put all our pieces of paper in the middle of the table and drew one out. Starting with the Bright topics we opened the discussion. It went back and forth with each person wanting to be heard, us learning how to listen, making mistakes, checking out, getting passionate and cussing, growing weary, restoring hope, clarifying intentions, and seeking resolution. It was quite a process that at times seemed to be going nowhere. It's amazing how much we can hurt each other in the process of a few months together. There were issues brought to the table that hadn't been resolved since we all began in September last year!
We hadn't really taken risks this big with each other until this moment. We'd had opportunities to dig in before, but had passed them up for 'keeping the peace', not causing any commotion, not rocking the boat, or not making people mad. We were not really sharing our hearts. We weren't risking. What I've learned through this time is that hearts can't be healed unless there's some risk. Bitterness and resentment reign king until someone risks communicating some hard things. Until there's a hurt identified and an opportunity to apologize, forward movement can't really happen.
There was a depth of community that we reached after our trip to Philly. There was a raw and real sense of authenticity in our interactions with one another.
I could finally say that we stopped playing community and started actually living it.
ComLife is not just a trendy little community experiment you join to say you've been a part of something. ComLife is a platform where people who long to live out a life of authenticity and passion come together and RISK with one another the things within. It's a place of self-discovery...a place you can't get to without other people. How ironic is that? You can't get to self-discovery without other people.
We need community.
We long for it.
We were made for it.
God designed it that way.
I've never ever learned as much alone as I have learned with other people. There's no risk with just me. I need other people to take risks with, and so do you. If that longing inside you is crying out for some real relationships and real growth, I'd suggest finding some people you can take risks with. Join a community that's going after these things and is willing to be real. See where it takes you and what God reveals.
If you don't know where to start, check out ComLife-we're in this together, and we're in it for growth. We seek to be real and open and honest and loving and challenging. We're accepting applications now until July 15th for our September 1st start date. It's 11 months and it may just be the place where you can begin to take some risks.
The way the word 'community' gets tossed around these days it is portrayed as an almost romantic and idyllic way of life. As if living together with other people in 'intentional community,' will solve all of your problems and bring peace and purpose to your life. Community seems to be the ticket to life's woes in so many people's eyes. It's funny though, how truly unromantic community really is.
I saw this fantasy in the eyes of the four girls who joined our community in January this year. They were starry eyed and hoped to gain so much from being a part of our community. They oozed excitement at being a part of it all and couldn't contain the anticipation of digging in and really experiencing things together. They couldn't wait to get down to business, be challenged, and walk away in 11 months better people. How cute I thought, knowing the trials they were about to encounter with community. I didn't want to burst their bubbles though, so I let the bubble grow until they popped it themselves.
I have a love/hate relationship with the honeymoon stage of community. It's the first few weeks or months of a group of people living together. To anyone who's had a college roommate or started a marriage can probably attest to this stage. Everything seems rosy, you try really hard not to get in anyone's way, you're extra careful with your words, you don't leave your stuff out around the house because you want to respect the common living space, you avoid conflict at all costs for the sake of keeping the peace. Everyone is super nice....and it's all a cute little cover up.
This is not how real people live.
Around month two some things start to slip. You realize that it's a lot of work to walk on eggshells and you notice that so-and-so kind of annoys you sometimes, you try not to mention anything, but slowly it gets harder and harder. You, yourself slowly start to leave your junk around more and more even though you have a hunch that it might get on someone else's nerves. You brush it off though, because you know what??
You're tired of putting on a show.
And here's where community looses its luster and things get interesting. People hit the wall and show their true colors and things get messy. I can laugh about it now because I've been through it. I've walked through the mess and had to deal with it in other community situations. It's happened in our little ComLife crew too. 'The wall' is the test of true community. You've got two options at this point. Either you press into some hard conversations, otherwise known as confrontation (gasp! Not that word!!), or you choose the path of least resistance and community is over.
People always want the good stuff, you know, the real DEEP relationships...the kind where people know you. Like that show Cheers where everyone knows your name, but more than just knowing your name they know your heart, and if we're honest, that's what we really want. Deep down we want people to know us. We want people to know what we're passionate about. We want to be able to let out what's on the inside. True, we want to let out the good stuff, but what we really want to know is whether or not we can let some of the bad stuff out too.
Will people be able to handle me? Am I too much?
Some of the things going on inside me are not so nice-what will people think of me if I let this out? I'm tired of putting on a show...I want authenticity and genuine relationships, but we'll never get there until we really KNOW each other. And that's scary. It's scary letting that person out that's on the inside. It's hard to trust people to handle our insecurities, our fears, our emotions, our passions, our desires, our hurts, our ideas, our longings.
It comes down to RISK. Everyone can make it through the honeymoon stage and most people make it far enough to hit the wall. These are both pretty inevitable stages of building authentic community. Getting past the wall is the hardest part and, like I said, it's the deciding factor on whether or not you have true authenticity and true community. If no one's willing to risk sharing who they really are, everyone will live in oblivion and surface level relationships will continue to prevail.
No one's looking for surface level anything these days. Community wouldn't be a buzz word right now if we weren't searching for something deeper, something that would quell the desire we have to be known.
I think the only way we can be truly known is if we're willing to take a risk.
The community I'm in right now is at this vital stage. Are we willing to take some risks? Are you willing to take some risks in your relationships with others? What would happen if you risked honesty and didn't shy away from confrontation? My next blog is a story from our ComLife community about a risk we took. I hope it spurs you on to take some risks too.
A fabulous idea that one of my housemates had was to draw names out of a hat and write a blog about that person. Not only will this help to foster more community within our group, but allow our supporters and friends a glimpse into the lives of some of the people that make up this ComLife team. I hope you'll enjoy my latest post about Shaye and also read on about what Teresa shared below about me.
Thank you, T for your encouragement in this blog! I love you!
I feel so blessed to share my life with these guys! God knows what he's up to!
For the past 6 months that I have been here in Georgia I have shared my ups, downs, and lessons. Mentioned my community and roomates but little has been said specifically about my roomates. I'd like to take time to talk to you about one of my housemates in particular.
Her name: Amanda Dums. The one and only :)
It has been a pleasure to live in community with her. Amanda is one of our leaders in the house with Community Life. When I think of Amanda, words like creative, fun and bold come to mind. I also think of nature when I think of her, she loves being outside! Along with her mad knitting and sewing skills, this Wisconsin native is always trying to find new and different ways that our group can be challenged in our spending time together as well as in our spiritual lives. There is definatley more to her than Wisconsin cheese and farms :) She brings to this group community experiences from The World Race as well as her time in Cairo, IL and it shows. She has ease and is comfortable with us. Her smile lights up the room and her laugh is infectious. I am thankful for the joy and spirit she brings to this group.Upon meeting Amanda I think the first "vibe" I got was that of a mother. (She's not going to like that I said that :P) But really that's her nature, to nurture. I appreciate her caring instincts and qualities. To seek people out and to be aware of what's going on around in the people around her.
Along with that is her nature to ask questions and stir up conversation. She asks the hard questions, challenges us to come face to face with things that we need to look at and is good at bringing us back to the purpose and point of things when we derail or go off topic. I also appreciate the way that she helps to see the positive. Sometimes in our personal lives as well as in community it is easy to focus on the negatives or on the things that we struggle with. She is always quick to also highlight the good, which is very much needed.
I appreciate everything she has done and contributed to this group.
Personally I have gained alot from her experiences, encouragment and challenges to me.
We often talk about trust and safety and how these two aspects are the main ingredients to building a strong community. I have to be honest when I tell you that these aspects have not always been so strong here at the ComLife house. It's hard to take a leap of faith, be vulnerable, and trust the people God's given you to live life alongside. We have to constantly check ourselves and ask if we are a safe place for one another. It's a constant question on my mind-am I a trustworthy and safe person for the people here in my community?
While I struggle with these questions, I think there is a person within our group who has a pretty good handle on these things. Not to say she's perfect or isn't asking these questions right alongside us all, I just have to admit that she seems to have this trust and safety thing pretty down pat. She's constantly asking people how they're doing and, get this, she actually cares! J
Shaye Cornellis a person who knows how to love well and she's been intentional with all the members of our community, although she's one of the new arrivals and has only been here about two months. I can say without qualms that she fits in really well with our group. She's easy-going and adapts well to different personalities and situations. You always know that Shaye's heart goes out to each person in the group. I think this is my favorite quality about her. She knows what's up with people; she can easily read between the lines. She hears what you're not saying and is sensitive and gentle enough to be there for you when you need a little prodding. (I know from experience! J)
I appreciate that she's always willing for just about anything...and you'll hear that phrase come from her lips often, "I'm not sure about this, but I'm willing to try." I love that teachable heart I see in her. She wants God's best for her life and she's willing to plug along even through the hard stuff to be more refined. I think she's shining brighter even after two months...who knows what will happen at the end of eleven?
To top off her awesome qualities, Shaye is always good for a laugh. She's got an infectious smile, killer dance moves, and the funniest faces I've seen in photos in a while. The girl cracks me up, puts me at ease in her presence, and is a joy to be around. I'm thrilled to know her and have her in my life for this season. Welcome to community friend. I love you. J
(my favorite part about this blog is knowing I'll get mad props for making a creative title! J just for you girl!!)
I think this is a fact: Everyone loves to be invited. Whether it's to a party or an outing, a basketball game or just hanging out, even the way someone treats you when you're in their presence speaks to the level of invitation they are extending. We love knowing that someone wants us to be with them. It just feels good.
r us as a community was an important one. I think we could have had a great week in Philly with a packed schedule of ministering to the hurting community of Kensington. I think God would have blessed us and we would have come home with some amazing stories under our belt. But as a community, we had hit our wall, and there were some long overdue conversations that needed to happen within our group.
going to talk about this. We are going to be frank about how things affect us. We are going to be honest about what we're feeling and how we've been hurt by people's words and actions. We committed to this community and we are committed to this process.
ns, and seeking resolution. It was quite a process that at times seemed to be going nowhere. It's amazing how much we can hurt each other in the process of a few months together. There were issues brought to the table that hadn't been resolved since we all began in September last year! 
