This girl is important to me. You'll notice that in the video above I say that she gives great hugs...and that hugs are important to me-I think I need to expound on this a bit...
Toya not only gives the best big hugs around, but she gives them at exactly the right time. Perhaps you know the moment-those times where you're crying out for someone to just notice that something's wrong but you don't want to say anything...she's there. When you think you're escaping from everyone and are about to sit in your own self-loathing...she's there. I don't know how many times she's run me down to wrap me in a warm hug and pray for me. Sometimes I don't quite know how she does it.
We have this interesting relationship, Toya and I. She says I'm the one that always makes her cry, and interestingly enough, she does the same to me. There's a heart connect and a God given love for each other that we share. We've walked through some tough stuff in only a few short months, and I know it's not over. We've had too many times of pressing in to this financial issue together to walk away in defeat.
I know that Toya is called to be here.
I'm looking to God for provision and I'm asking you to pray for my sister. Exciting times are ahead for her. In just the short time she's been with us in ComLife, Toya's learned that she's defined by her identity in Christ and not the role she plays. She used to be an Event Planner and rubbed elbows with all kinds of hoity-toities with money. Now that she's pursuing God's calling, she's finding that the value she found in her job is wasting away. But lets be clear-this exuberant, loving, kind, creative, and hospitable woman IS valuable and we need her...just like she needs us. ...just like we need you.
Toya's got a charge from God to reach African American churches and mobilize them for missions. She has a huge heart for Africa and wants to bring church groups there to minister as well. There's no stopping this ‘idea-machine'-she's going places. Would you consider helping her on her journey? She needs $3000 by June 1st to allow her to stay in ComLife!
Visit her blog at: www.toyamac@myadventures.org
Click the ‘Donate Here' button to make a financial contribution. Thank you!
Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy this tasty little video I put together from a random adventure some of my roomates took trying to fix a lightbulb on their car....sounds pretty boring, but it actually is pretty good for a laugh. ....at the very least a chuckle or two! ;)
Enjoy it and seriously check out our ComLife page at www.adventures.org/communityand seeing if you or someone you know would be interested in joining our community in September 2009. We're taking referrals! Ages 18-35 should start their applications now! You don't want to miss the ride of your life!!
As a community, we take two mission trips together a year and this spring we decided on heading to Kensington, Philadelphia where AIM used to have a huge missions base. We've heard plenty of amazing stories from people at AIM about Philly and the ministry there, we've all read The Irresistible Revolution by Shawn Claiborne who's one of the founders of the Simple Way, a community endeavor we've modeled some aspects of ComLife after. AIM's actually donated a building to the Simple Way's Potter Street Community and we had hopes of getting to see their community in action while we were in town.
I'll suffice it to say, we had no such luck in any of these plans materializing during our trip at all. In fact, this weeklong mission trip to Philly looked drastically different than any other mission trip I've ever been on. Why? Well for starters, we hardly ministered. Our plans for the week took a much different focus because we realized that there was some ministering that needed to happen within our own team.
In my last blog I talked about risk and its importance in building community. This week for us as a community was an important one. I think we could have had a great week in Philly with a packed schedule of ministering to the hurting community of Kensington. I think God would have blessed us and we would have come home with some amazing stories under our belt. But as a community, we had hit our wall, and there were some long overdue conversations that needed to happen within our group.
So since our schedule was pretty wide open we took that time to begin to talk about some things that we had been hiding. It was a risk. We didn't have to open up about these things. We didn't have to spend hours each day walking through the crap that was going on in our hearts and minds. We didn't have to be honest with where we were at. We could have just told ourselves that we were fine and moved on. We could have believed that this community wasn't that important, after all, some people are leaving soon anyway so what's the point? Why dig in now? Just let it rest.
No one cares anyway.
It's amazing how those lies settle in so quickly and easily, huh? But as a team we cast them aside and said, No, we are going to talk about this. We are going to be frank about how things affect us. We are going to be honest about what we're feeling and how we've been hurt by people's words and actions. We committed to this community and we are committed to this process.
So we dove in. We started by taking a few minutes to write some things down under three categories: Bright, Blurry, Blind. The bright things were the conflicts everyone in the community knew were taking place. Things like us always being late to meetings and never knowing who's driving or what vehicles are available to use-these things always spring some kind of conflict. The blurry things were the conflicts that are there, but no one really talks about. Maybe they are alluded to or talked about in side conversations, but are never really resolved or communicated clearly. Blind things were conflicts that we were having personally, but have never told anyone about. These are the resentments and issues that we've been harboring in our hearts that never reach resolution because they are hidden within.
After about 15 minutes we put all our pieces of paper in the middle of the table and drew one out. Starting with the Bright topics we opened the discussion. It went back and forth with each person wanting to be heard, us learning how to listen, making mistakes, checking out, getting passionate and cussing, growing weary, restoring hope, clarifying intentions, and seeking resolution. It was quite a process that at times seemed to be going nowhere. It's amazing how much we can hurt each other in the process of a few months together. There were issues brought to the table that hadn't been resolved since we all began in September last year!
We hadn't really taken risks this big with each other until this moment. We'd had opportunities to dig in before, but had passed them up for ‘keeping the peace', not causing any commotion, not rocking the boat, or not making people mad. We were not really sharing our hearts. We weren't risking. What I've learned through this time is that hearts can't be healed unless there's some risk. Bitterness and resentment reign king until someone risks communicating some hard things. Until there's a hurt identified and an opportunity to apologize, forward movement can't really happen.
There was a depth of community that we reached after our trip to Philly. There was a raw and real sense of authenticity in our interactions with one another.
I could finally say that we stopped playing community and started actually living it.
ComLife is not just a trendy little community experiment you join to say you've been a part of something. ComLife is a platform where people who long to live out a life of authenticity and passion come together and RISK with one another the things within. It's a place of self-discovery...a place you can't get to without other people. How ironic is that? You can't get to self-discovery without other people.
We need community.
We long for it.
We were made for it.
God designed it that way.
I've never ever learned as much alone as I have learned with other people. There's no risk with just me. I need other people to take risks with, and so do you. If that longing inside you is crying out for some real relationships and real growth, I'd suggest finding some people you can take risks with. Join a community that's going after these things and is willing to be real. See where it takes you and what God reveals.
If you don't know where to start, check out ComLife-we're in this together, and we're in it for growth. We seek to be real and open and honest and loving and challenging. We're accepting applications now until July 15th for our September 1st start date. It's 11 months and it may just be the place where you can begin to take some risks.
The way the word ‘community' gets tossed around these days it is portrayed as an almost romantic and idyllic way of life. As if living together with other people in ‘intentional community,' will solve all of your problems and bring peace and purpose to your life. Community seems to be the ticket to life's woes in so many people's eyes. It's funny though, how truly unromantic community really is.
I saw this fantasy in the eyes of the four girls who joined our community in January this year. They were starry eyed and hoped to gain so much from being a part of our community. They oozed excitement at being a part of it all and couldn't contain the anticipation of digging in and really experiencing things together. They couldn't wait to get down to business, be challenged, and walk away in 11 months better people. How cute I thought, knowing the trials they were about to encounter with community. I didn't want to burst their bubbles though, so I let the bubble grow until they popped it themselves.
I have a love/hate relationship with the honeymoon stage of community. It's the first few weeks or months of a group of people living together. To anyone who's had a college roommate or started a marriage can probably attest to this stage. Everything seems rosy, you try really hard not to get in anyone's way, you're extra careful with your words, you don't leave your stuff out around the house because you want to respect the common living space, you avoid conflict at all costs for the sake of keeping the peace. Everyone is super nice....and it's all a cute little cover up.
This is not how real people live.
Around month two some things start to slip. You realize that it's a lot of work to walk on eggshells and you notice that so-and-so kind of annoys you sometimes, you try not to mention anything, but slowly it gets harder and harder. You, yourself slowly start to leave your junk around more and more even though you have a hunch that it might get on someone else's nerves. You brush it off though, because you know what??
You're tired of putting on a show.
And here's where community looses its luster and things get interesting. People hit the wall and show their true colors and things get messy. I can laugh about it now because I've been through it. I've walked through the mess and had to deal with it in other community situations. It's happened in our little ComLife crew too. ‘The wall' is the test of true community. You've got two options at this point. Either you press into some hard conversations, otherwise known as confrontation (gasp! Not that word!!), or you choose the path of least resistance and community is over.
People always want the good stuff, you know, the real DEEP relationships...the kind where people know you. Like that show Cheers where everyone knows your name, but more than just knowing your name they know your heart, and if we're honest, that's what we really want. Deep down we want people to know us. We want people to know what we're passionate about. We want to be able to let out what's on the inside. True, we want to let out the good stuff, but what we really want to know is whether or not we can let some of the bad stuff out too.
Will people be able to handle me? Am I too much?
Some of the things going on inside me are not so nice-what will people think of me if I let this out? I'm tired of putting on a show...I want authenticity and genuine relationships, but we'll never get there until we really KNOW each other. And that's scary. It's scary letting that person out that's on the inside. It's hard to trust people to handle our insecurities, our fears, our emotions, our passions, our desires, our hurts, our ideas, our longings.
It comes down to RISK. Everyone can make it through the honeymoon stage and most people make it far enough to hit the wall. These are both pretty inevitable stages of building authentic community. Getting past the wall is the hardest part and, like I said, it's the deciding factor on whether or not you have true authenticity and true community. If no one's willing to risk sharing who they really are, everyone will live in oblivion and surface level relationships will continue to prevail.
No one's looking for surface level anything these days. Community wouldn't be a buzz word right now if we weren't searching for something deeper, something that would quell the desire we have to be known.
I think the only way we can be truly known is if we're willing to take a risk.
The community I'm in right now is at this vital stage. Are we willing to take some risks? Are you willing to take some risks in your relationships with others? What would happen if you risked honesty and didn't shy away from confrontation? My next blog is a story from our ComLife community about a risk we took. I hope it spurs you on to take some risks too.
A fabulous idea that one of my housemates had was to draw names out of a hat and write a blog about that person. Not only will this help to foster more community within our group, but allow our supporters and friends a glimpse into the lives of some of the people that make up this ComLife team. I hope you'll enjoy my latest post about Shaye and also read on about what Teresa shared below about me.
Thank you, T for your encouragement in this blog! I love you!
I feel so blessed to share my life with these guys! God knows what he's up to!
For the past 6 months that I have been here in Georgia I have shared my ups, downs, and lessons. Mentioned my community and roomates but little has been said specifically about my roomates. I'd like to take time to talk to you about one of my housemates in particular.
Her name: Amanda Dums. The one and only :)
It has been a pleasure to live in community with her. Amanda is one of our leaders in the house with Community Life. When I think of Amanda, words like creative, fun and bold come to mind. I also think of nature when I think of her, she loves being outside! Along with her mad knitting and sewing skills, this Wisconsin native is always trying to find new and different ways that our group can be challenged in our spending time together as well as in our spiritual lives. There is definatley more to her than Wisconsin cheese and farms :) She brings to this group community experiences from The World Race as well as her time in Cairo, IL and it shows. She has ease and is comfortable with us. Her smile lights up the room and her laugh is infectious. I am thankful for the joy and spirit she brings to this group.Upon meeting Amanda I think the first "vibe" I got was that of a mother. (She's not going to like that I said that :P) But really that's her nature, to nurture. I appreciate her caring instincts and qualities. To seek people out and to be aware of what's going on around in the people around her.
Along with that is her nature to ask questions and stir up conversation. She asks the hard questions, challenges us to come face to face with things that we need to look at and is good at bringing us back to the purpose and point of things when we derail or go off topic. I also appreciate the way that she helps to see the positive. Sometimes in our personal lives as well as in community it is easy to focus on the negatives or on the things that we struggle with. She is always quick to also highlight the good, which is very much needed.
I appreciate everything she has done and contributed to this group.
Personally I have gained alot from her experiences, encouragment and challenges to me.
We often talk about trust and safety and how these two aspects are the main ingredients to building a strong community. I have to be honest when I tell you that these aspects have not always been so strong here at the ComLife house. It's hard to take a leap of faith, be vulnerable, and trust the people God's given you to live life alongside. We have to constantly check ourselves and ask if we are a safe place for one another. It's a constant question on my mind-am I a trustworthy and safe person for the people here in my community?
While I struggle with these questions, I think there is a person within our group who has a pretty good handle on these things. Not to say she's perfect or isn't asking these questions right alongside us all, I just have to admit that she seems to have this trust and safety thing pretty down pat. She's constantly asking people how they're doing and, get this, she actually cares! J
Shaye Cornellis a person who knows how to love well and she's been intentional with all the members of our community, although she's one of the new arrivals and has only been here about two months. I can say without qualms that she fits in really well with our group. She's easy-going and adapts well to different personalities and situations. You always know that Shaye's heart goes out to each person in the group. I think this is my favorite quality about her. She knows what's up with people; she can easily read between the lines. She hears what you're not saying and is sensitive and gentle enough to be there for you when you need a little prodding. (I know from experience! J)
I appreciate that she's always willing for just about anything...and you'll hear that phrase come from her lips often, "I'm not sure about this, but I'm willing to try." I love that teachable heart I see in her. She wants God's best for her life and she's willing to plug along even through the hard stuff to be more refined. I think she's shining brighter even after two months...who knows what will happen at the end of eleven?
To top off her awesome qualities, Shaye is always good for a laugh. She's got an infectious smile, killer dance moves, and the funniest faces I've seen in photos in a while. The girl cracks me up, puts me at ease in her presence, and is a joy to be around. I'm thrilled to know her and have her in my life for this season. Welcome to community friend. I love you. J
(my favorite part about this blog is knowing I'll get mad props for making a creative title! J just for you girl!!)
Over the course of our five months together as a community there have been some major lessons God's taught me. I'll give you a glimpse into a few journal entries along the way and share how God's spoken to me in these different seasons. Enjoy the journey! ...it's been quite a ride...and we're only at the half-way point!
9-10-08
...I know this is growing us all so I can't despise the circumstance...but I am...just like my place in this house-sometimes I've questioned my place here and WHY I'm even doing ComLife, let alone leading it. Sometimes it's just hard to invest. Truth spoken though and lies cast aside, I'm glad to be in the position I'm in.
Thanks Jesus.
Lesson #1: Thankfulness. I can't grow in a community unless I'm thankful for it. I've learned to ask ‘Why?' a lot less and say ‘Thank You' instead.
9-17-08
Me: What are you calling me to here Lord?
God: ...to love others above yourself.
Me: How do I do that Lord? I feel so incapable and so selfish these days. Will you help me to not focus so much on my own needs? I need to see beyond me. I'm feeling a twinge narcissistic. I want to embody love-to truly shower others with your love. Teach me this Lord. Thank you for loving me so that I can love others. Because you first loved me right?
We loved because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
1 John 4: 19-21
Lesson #2: Love is in complete opposition of selfishness. You can't have love for your brothers and sisters (or even God apparently) when you're hanging on to selfishness. I have not been called to selfishness...I've been called to love. This selfishness issue is a hard one...and one that's most easily rooted out in community. Thank you Jesus (lesson #1). J
10-11-08
...A little bit of journaling time and unfortunately I still have to share space with the clickity clacking of the computer...(sigh)...community... (back up to lesson #2...oops)
Lord, I need some help. I feel a bit like I'm dying here. Like I am stuck under water and can't breathe. I need to hear your voice. Will you help me sort through the mess?
You are surely refining me in the midst of living in this house and through ComLife. God, what do you want to show me here? I want to live with a posture to grow and change, but I feel like I really haven't been all that receptive to changing MY mind. I want others to somehow change and begin to ‘get excited' for and get behind my vision for ComLife. We all have our expectations and feel like everyone else just needs to get on board with it.
I need to repent for making judgments and placing unreal expectations on others. This is not my place and it is poor leadership. God, I need your help to be a quality leader. Would you teach me and give me what it takes to lead effectively? I don't want to just check out, but feel so close to that edge sometimes. I know I can't live without vision. Will you give me wisdom and grace in this Lord? I so desperately need it.
Lesson #3: Our expectations need to die. We get to a place of judgment because of the expectations we place on ourselves and others. If we had no expectations, I think we'd jump to fewer conclusions about our brothers and sisters and walk more in love, which is the point right?
12-15-08
It's so un-fun these days it seems. Jess and I were just talking the other day about our desire as Christians for everything to be exciting and our need to be great in the kingdom, but what does that actually look like? Probably we'll find that the un-fun/obscure people and positions will be the most exulted in heaven. I don't want my reward on earth...but really I do. I want it now. I want to see the fruit of what I pour myself into. And I do...there is fruit here...but sometimes it just doesn't seem so significant-like all the work I put in isn't really going to produce a harvest of righteousness, like my mundane tasks don't even get recognized. I'm not exulted and it's hard to persevere when things don't seem so awesome. God teach me to not be so self-seeking. Teach me about your kingdom and how it works...not how I think it works. YOUR ways. Not mine. Lead me. Help me to be led so that I can lead.
Lesson #4: Greatness isn't measured in WHAT I'm doing...but in what I'm allowing God to do in me. It's the principle of ‘less of me and more of him.' He needs to direct me so that I can follow and he needs to be at the center of our community or we're going nowhere.
Lord, I thank youfor rooting out selfishness in me and allowing my expectationsto die so that you can form greatnesswithin me and within this community. You are so good!
I could hear her even before I could see her. There was something about her loudly yelling down the street that you couldn't help but notice. As we got closer, the children's sized Santa hat that she wore and the Christmas garland that was wrapped around her neck, along with the four or five layers of clothes on her back, made her quite a spectacle on this calm back street in the heart of Atlanta's downtown.
Shawna and I approached her with inviting smiles and we asked who she was talking to. She kept going off for a minute while eying us suspiciously. In between her ranting she acknowledged us and told us that she was "very blessed and filled with the Holy Ghost." She took our small brown bag filled with an apple, granola bar, bottle of water, pair of socks and an encouraging note with a nod of her head and a thank you.
Our conversation went on from there and she told us about how she'd gone through a bible training school and how some people had given her a bible. She told us her trouble in getting an apartment and a job and we offered to pray. She told us that was exactly what she was doing when we walked up...praying in the spirit.
Perfect. I love it when your assumptions are shattered. She looked cracked out to me from 20 feet away and while we were talking with her and exchanging stories about the goodness of God Shawna exclaimed, "I'm crazier than you are!" To which she laughed and shook her head in agreement with a huge grin.
I couldn't help but smile too. What a beautiful time of encouragement between three fellow sisters. Her smile was so bright. I'll never forget her face and the lesson she taught me about making assumptions based on outward appearances. How many times do we judge a book by its cover or walk right on by someone in our rush to go about our business? And who knows? Maybe she really was cracked out, but it doesn't really matter. What I do know is that the light of Jesus shone brightly on this one that most wouldn't see as a light in the darkness.
This holiday season I'm focusing on really seeing people, on really acknowledging them and not letting the hustle and bustle keep me in my own little world. Sometimes it takes a little craziness for people to get noticed...but what about the ones who aren't screaming?
A week away from home.
A week off of work.
A week away from our normal routines.
A week set aside for ministry in a little town I've come to love.
Cairo, IL
So much was contained in this one week mission trip with our ComLife group.
One week of...
...reunions with old friends at the Cairo House of prayer
...love given freely to the people of Cairo
...cupcakes and juice given out to kids in the McBride projects
...visiting with shut-ins at the High Rise apartments in town
...worship and prayer together when old friends meet new
...meals shared in the midst of testimonies being told and God being exaulted
...VBS with the little ones at the Elmwood projects teaching them about God's power by creating a wall of Jericho and parading around it shouting as the walls come down
...strategic prayer happening around a town desperate for declarations of hope and restoration
...food given to those without means with smiles and the kindness of Christ
...tutoring students in a school system that has a 75% drop out rate as kids enter high school
...honest team debriefs that reached new levels of vulnerability and openness
There were plenty of things that stood out during our one week here. Each point above could be its own blog, but one comment made by a dear sister in Cairo impacted me the most this week. She said:
True community comes when you
stop escaping fromone another
and start escaping to one another.
Her heart in this matter has been tested and tried by three years of intentional community with a little tribe in this town. The truth is that you can't really get away in Cairo. There are no cute coffee shops to hide away in, no outside friends your age to spend time with, no shopping malls to shop in, no music or entertainment to spend time on. In Cairo, we had to learn to lean on one another for everything and our group here in Gainesville is learning this simple truth too.
We're learning how to love each other and how to be intentional. We're trying to reach God's heart and to see it in our brothers and sisters. We're saying yes to intentionality and saying no to escaping from each other. Instead we're committing to each other under Christ's love. And that's the first step.
Jesus, teach us how to hold one another up. Teach us how to love. Teach us about one another and how you've gifted each one. Help us to help each other and to spur on the passions and dreams you've deposited in us. Give us your heart for one another. Teach us how to forge ahead in all you have planned for us. Thanks for your grace through the process.
We're just now winding down from the World Race training camp hoopla last week. It's amazing how the AIM office just comes to life during training camp. Everyone has a job to do to make things run, last minute details are being taken care of, new faces arrive hopping off the bus from the airport, and our amazing teachers arrive ready to light some fires in people's hearts.
I love that aspect of training camp. I love that AIM brings out their best and brightest during these times. They enlist seasoned prayer counselors and fly in trusted pastors and teachers to lead and guide this new group into greatness. Really, the teachings each night are my favorite part. I love being in the presence of greatness. I love being around people who have ‘been there and done that' and have the stories to prove it. I love that their hearts are for my generation and that their greatest desire is for us to walk as sons and daughters of the King.
I love the encouragement that they bring. I love the life they speak. I love the prayers they pray. I love the way they inspire. I can truly say I'd love to be like them when I grow up. J
These are things these people encompass with seeming ease and I want to learn from them how to get there. It's honestly been hard for me to admit lately that I'm not everything I want to be quite yet. I haven't ‘made it' or felt incredibly accomplished these days. I sometimes wonder where my passion has gone. I question my own genuineness and find it hard to inspire myself, let alone inspire others.
Truly, I'm learning what it means to not be finished, but to be in a place of brokenness. I'm learning that I can't do things on my own. I'm learning that I need people with more experience around me. I'm learning to let people in, letting them see me at my worst, allowing them to speak into my life, and most importantly learning to ask for help.
The truth is, I haven't made it to greatness and neither have the inspiring teachers at AIM. We're all a work in progress, but we're on our way. We're taking steps towards greatness and we're helping each other get there. I'm learning that this is perhaps the most important part about community-pursuing greatness with others.
I think it starts with knowing that we aren't great by our own rights, but to get there we'll need to submit to Christ and submit to one another. This is where I start my quest for greatness....by opening the door of my heart and letting others in.
r us as a community was an important one. I think we could have had a great week in Philly with a packed schedule of ministering to the hurting community of Kensington. I think God would have blessed us and we would have come home with some amazing stories under our belt. But as a community, we had hit our wall, and there were some long overdue conversations that needed to happen within our group.
going to talk about this. We are going to be frank about how things affect us. We are going to be honest about what we're feeling and how we've been hurt by people's words and actions. We committed to this community and we are committed to this process.
ns, and seeking resolution. It was quite a process that at times seemed to be going nowhere. It's amazing how much we can hurt each other in the process of a few months together. There were issues brought to the table that hadn't been resolved since we all began in September last year! 
1 John 4: 19-21
to lead effectively? I don't want to just check out, but feel so close to that edge sometimes. I know I can't live without vision. Will you give me wisdom and grace in this Lord? I so desperately need it.
I couldn't help but smile too. What a beautiful time of encouragement between three fellow sisters. Her smile was so bright. I'll never forget her face and the lesson she taught me about making assumptions based on outward appearances. How many times do we judge a book by its cover or walk right on by someone in our rush to go about our business? And who knows? Maybe she really was cracked out, but it doesn't really matter. What I do know is that the light of Jesus shone brightly on this one that most wouldn't see as a light in the darkness.
We're just now winding down from the World Race training camp hoopla last week. It's amazing how the AIM office just comes to life during training camp. Everyone has a job to do to make things run, last minute details are being taken care of, new faces arrive hopping off the bus from the airport, and our amazing teachers arrive ready to light some fires in people's hearts.
