Amanda Dums - The World Race 2007

Meet Toya Mac

Sat, 23 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This girl is important to me. You'll notice that in the video above I say that she gives great hugs...and that hugs are important to me-I think I need to expound on this a bit...

Toya not only gives the best big hugs around, but she gives them at exactly the right time. Perhaps you know the moment-those times where you're crying out for someone to just notice that something's wrong but you don't want to say anything...she's there. When you think you're escaping from everyone and are about to sit in your own self-loathing...she's there. I don't know how many times she's run me down to wrap me in a warm hug and pray for me. Sometimes I don't quite know how she does it.

We have this interesting relationship, Toya and I. She says I'm the one that always makes her cry, and interestingly enough, she does the same to me. There's a heart connect and a God given love for each other that we share. We've walked through some tough stuff in only a few short months, and I know it's not over. We've had too many times of pressing in to this financial issue together to walk away in defeat.

I know that Toya is called to be here.

I'm looking to God for provision and I'm asking you to pray for my sister. Exciting times are ahead for her. In just the short time she's been with us in ComLife, Toya's learned that she's defined by her identity in Christ and not the role she plays. She used to be an Event Planner and rubbed elbows with all kinds of hoity-toities with money. Now that she's pursuing God's calling, she's finding that the value she found in her job is wasting away. But lets be clear-this exuberant, loving, kind, creative, and hospitable woman IS valuable and we need her...just like she needs us. ...just like we need you.

Toya's got a charge from God to reach African American churches and mobilize them for missions. She has a huge heart for Africa and wants to bring church groups there to minister as well. There's no stopping this idea-machine'-she's going places. Would you consider helping her on her journey? She needs $3000 by June 1st to allow her to stay in ComLife!

Visit her blog at: www.toyamac@myadventures.org
Click the Donate Here' button to make a financial contribution. Thank you!

ComLife: The Ride of Your Life!

Thu, 7 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy this tasty little video I put together from a random adventure some of my roomates took trying to fix a lightbulb on their car....sounds pretty boring, but it actually is pretty good for a laugh. ....at the very least a chuckle or two! ;)

Enjoy it and seriously check out our ComLife page at www.adventures.org/community and seeing if you or someone you know would be interested in joining our community in September 2009. We're taking referrals! Ages 18-35 should start their applications now! You don't want to miss the ride of your life!!

How do you spell community? R-I-S-K

Sun, 3 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The way the word community' gets tossed around these days it is portrayed as an almost romantic and idyllic way of life. As if living together with other people in intentional community,' will solve all of your problems and bring peace and purpose to your life. Community seems to be the ticket to life's woes in so many people's eyes. It's funny though, how truly unromantic community really is.

I saw this fantasy in the eyes of the four girls who joined our community in January this year. They were starry eyed and hoped to gain so much from being a part of our community. They oozed excitement at being a part of it all and couldn't contain the anticipation of digging in and really experiencing things together. They couldn't wait to get down to business, be challenged, and walk away in 11 months better people. How cute I thought, knowing the trials they were about to encounter with community. I didn't want to burst their bubbles though, so I let the bubble grow until they popped it themselves.

I have a love/hate relationship with the honeymoon stage of community. It's the first few weeks or months of a group of people living together. To anyone who's had a college roommate or started a marriage can probably attest to this stage. Everything seems rosy, you try really hard not to get in anyone's way, you're extra careful with your words, you don't leave your stuff out around the house because you want to respect the common living space, you avoid conflict at all costs for the sake of keeping the peace. Everyone is super nice....and it's all a cute little cover up.

This is not how real people live.

Around month two some things start to slip. You realize that it's a lot of work to walk on eggshells and you notice that so-and-so kind of annoys you sometimes, you try not to mention anything, but slowly it gets harder and harder. You, yourself slowly start to leave your junk around more and more even though you have a hunch that it might get on someone else's nerves. You brush it off though, because you know what??

You're tired of putting on a show.

And here's where community looses its luster and things get interesting. People hit the wall and show their true colors and things get messy. I can laugh about it now because I've been through it. I've walked through the mess and had to deal with it in other community situations. It's happened in our little ComLife crew too. The wall' is the test of true community. You've got two options at this point. Either you press into some hard conversations, otherwise known as confrontation (gasp! Not that word!!), or you choose the path of least resistance and community is over.

People always want the good stuff, you know, the real DEEP relationships...the kind where people know you. Like that show Cheers where everyone knows your name, but more than just knowing your name they know your heart, and if we're honest, that's what we really want. Deep down we want people to know us. We want people to know what we're passionate about. We want to be able to let out what's on the inside. True, we want to let out the good stuff, but what we really want to know is whether or not we can let some of the bad stuff out too.

Will people be able to handle me? Am I too much?

Some of the things going on inside me are not so nice-what will people think of me if I let this out? I'm tired of putting on a show...I want authenticity and genuine relationships, but we'll never get there until we really KNOW each other. And that's scary. It's scary letting that person out that's on the inside. It's hard to trust people to handle our insecurities, our fears, our emotions, our passions, our desires, our hurts, our ideas, our longings.

It comes down to RISK. Everyone can make it through the honeymoon stage and most people make it far enough to hit the wall. These are both pretty inevitable stages of building authentic community. Getting past the wall is the hardest part and, like I said, it's the deciding factor on whether or not you have true authenticity and true community. If no one's willing to risk sharing who they really are, everyone will live in oblivion and surface level relationships will continue to prevail.

No one's looking for surface level anything these days. Community wouldn't be a buzz word right now if we weren't searching for something deeper, something that would quell the desire we have to be known.

I think the only way we can be truly known is if we're willing to take a risk.

The community I'm in right now is at this vital stage. Are we willing to take some risks? Are you willing to take some risks in your relationships with others? What would happen if you risked honesty and didn't shy away from confrontation? My next blog is a story from our ComLife community about a risk we took. I hope it spurs you on to take some risks too.

Mission trip to Philly--at your own RISK

Sun, 3 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As a community, we take two mission trips together a year and this spring we decided on heading to Kensington, Philadelphia where AIM used to have a huge missions base. We've heard plenty of amazing stories from people at AIM about Philly and the ministry there, we've all read The Irresistible Revolution by Shawn Claiborne who's one of the founders of the Simple Way, a community endeavor we've modeled some aspects of ComLife after. AIM's actually donated a building to the Simple Way's Potter Street Community and we had hopes of getting to see their community in action while we were in town.

I'll suffice it to say, we had no such luck in any of these plans materializing during our trip at all. In fact, this weeklong mission trip to Philly looked drastically different than any other mission trip I've ever been on. Why? Well for starters, we hardly ministered. Our plans for the week took a much different focus because we realized that there was some ministering that needed to happen within our own team.

In my last blog I talked about risk and its importance in building community. This week for us as a community was an important one. I think we could have had a great week in Philly with a packed schedule of ministering to the hurting community of Kensington. I think God would have blessed us and we would have come home with some amazing stories under our belt. But as a community, we had hit our wall, and there were some long overdue conversations that needed to happen within our group.

So since our schedule was pretty wide open we took that time to begin to talk about some things that we had been hiding. It was a risk. We didn't have to open up about these things. We didn't have to spend hours each day walking through the crap that was going on in our hearts and minds. We didn't have to be honest with where we were at. We could have just told ourselves that we were fine and moved on. We could have believed that this community wasn't that important, after all, some people are leaving soon anyway so what's the point? Why dig in now? Just let it rest.

No one cares anyway.

It's amazing how those lies settle in so quickly and easily, huh? But as a team we cast them aside and said, No, we are going to talk about this. We are going to be frank about how things affect us. We are going to be honest about what we're feeling and how we've been hurt by people's words and actions. We committed to this community and we are committed to this process.

So we dove in. We started by taking a few minutes to write some things down under three categories: Bright, Blurry, Blind. The bright things were the conflicts everyone in the community knew were taking place. Things like us always being late to meetings and never knowing who's driving or what vehicles are available to use-these things always spring some kind of conflict. The blurry things were the conflicts that are there, but no one really talks about. Maybe they are alluded to or talked about in side conversations, but are never really resolved or communicated clearly. Blind things were conflicts that we were having personally, but have never told anyone about. These are the resentments and issues that we've been harboring in our hearts that never reach resolution because they are hidden within.

After about 15 minutes we put all our pieces of paper in the middle of the table and drew one out. Starting with the Bright topics we opened the discussion. It went back and forth with each person wanting to be heard, us learning how to listen, making mistakes, checking out, getting passionate and cussing, growing weary, restoring hope, clarifying intentions, and seeking resolution. It was quite a process that at times seemed to be going nowhere. It's amazing how much we can hurt each other in the process of a few months together. There were issues brought to the table that hadn't been resolved since we all began in September last year!

We hadn't really taken risks this big with each other until this moment. We'd had opportunities to dig in before, but had passed them up for keeping the peace', not causing any commotion, not rocking the boat, or not making people mad. We were not really sharing our hearts. We weren't risking. What I've learned through this time is that hearts can't be healed unless there's some risk. Bitterness and resentment reign king until someone risks communicating some hard things. Until there's a hurt identified and an opportunity to apologize, forward movement can't really happen.

There was a depth of community that we reached after our trip to Philly. There was a raw and real sense of authenticity in our interactions with one another.

I could finally say that we stopped playing community and started actually living it.

ComLife is not just a trendy little community experiment you join to say you've been a part of something. ComLife is a platform where people who long to live out a life of authenticity and passion come together and RISK with one another the things within. It's a place of self-discovery...a place you can't get to without other people. How ironic is that? You can't get to self-discovery without other people.

We need community.

We long for it.

We were made for it.

God designed it that way.

I've never ever learned as much alone as I have learned with other people. There's no risk with just me. I need other people to take risks with, and so do you. If that longing inside you is crying out for some real relationships and real growth, I'd suggest finding some people you can take risks with. Join a community that's going after these things and is willing to be real. See where it takes you and what God reveals.

If you don't know where to start, check out ComLife-we're in this together, and we're in it for growth. We seek to be real and open and honest and loving and challenging. We're accepting applications now until July 15^th for our September 1^st start date. It's 11 months and it may just be the place where you can begin to take some risks.

Check it out!

Feng Shaye

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We often talk about trust and safety and how these two aspects are the main ingredients to building a strong community. I have to be honest when I tell you that these aspects have not always been so strong here at the ComLife house. It's hard to take a leap of faith, be vulnerable, and trust the people God's given you to live life alongside. We have to constantly check ourselves and ask if we are a safe place for one another. It's a constant question on my mind-am I a trustworthy and safe person for the people here in my community?

While I struggle with these questions, I think there is a person within our group who has a pretty good handle on these things. Not to say she's perfect or isn't asking these questions right alongside us all, I just have to admit that she seems to have this trust and safety thing pretty down pat. She's constantly asking people how they're doing and, get this, she actually cares! J

Shaye Cornell is a person who knows how to love well and she's been intentional with all the members of our community, although she's one of the new arrivals and has only been here about two months. I can say without qualms that she fits in really well with our group. She's easy-going and adapts well to different personalities and situations. You always know that Shaye's heart goes out to each person in the group. I think this is my favorite quality about her. She knows what's up with people; she can easily read between the lines. She hears what you're not saying and is sensitive and gentle enough to be there for you when you need a little prodding. (I know from experience! J)

I appreciate that she's always willing for just about anything...and you'll hear that phrase come from her lips often, "I'm not sure about this, but I'm willing to try." I love that teachable heart I see in her. She wants God's best for her life and she's willing to plug along even through the hard stuff to be more refined. I think she's shining brighter even after two months...who knows what will happen at the end of eleven?

To top off her awesome qualities, Shaye is always good for a laugh. She's got an infectious smile, killer dance moves, and the funniest faces I've seen in photos in a while. The girl cracks me up, puts me at ease in her presence, and is a joy to be around. I'm thrilled to know her and have her in my life for this season. Welcome to community friend. I love you. J

(my favorite part about this blog is knowing I'll get mad props for making a creative title! J just for you girl!!)

Teresa shares about ME!

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

A fabulous idea that one of my housemates had was to draw names out of a hat and write a blog about that person. Not only will this help to foster more community within our group, but allow our supporters and friends a glimpse into the lives of some of the people that make up this ComLife team. I hope you'll enjoy my latest post about Shaye and also read on about what Teresa shared below about me.

Thank you, T for your encouragement in this blog! I love you!

I feel so blessed to share my life with these guys! God knows what he's up to!

Amander :)

Posted in General Articles by Teresa Tucker on 3/10/2009

For the past 6 months that I have been here in Georgia I have shared my ups, downs, and lessons. Mentioned my community and roomates but little has been said specifically about my roomates. I'd like to take time to talk to you about one of my housemates in particular.

Her name: Amanda Dums. The one and only :)

It has been a pleasure to live in community with her. Amanda is one of our leaders in the house with Community Life. When I think of Amanda, words like creative, fun and bold come to mind. I also think of nature when I think of her, she loves being outside! Along with her mad knitting and sewing skills, this Wisconsin native is always trying to find new and different ways that our group can be challenged in our spending time together as well as in our spiritual lives. There is definatley more to her than Wisconsin cheese and farms :) She brings to this group community experiences from The World Race as well as her time in Cairo, IL and it shows. She has ease and is comfortable with us. Her smile lights up the room and her laugh is infectious. I am thankful for the joy and spirit she brings to this group.Upon meeting Amanda I think the first "vibe" I got was that of a mother. (She's not going to like that I said that :P) But really that's her nature, to nurture. I appreciate her caring instincts and qualities. To seek people out and to be aware of what's going on around in the people around her.

Along with that is her nature to ask questions and stir up conversation. She asks the hard questions, challenges us to come face to face with things that we need to look at and is good at bringing us back to the purpose and point of things when we derail or go off topic. I also appreciate the way that she helps to see the positive. Sometimes in our personal lives as well as in community it is easy to focus on the negatives or on the things that we struggle with. She is always quick to also highlight the good, which is very much needed.

I appreciate everything she has done and contributed to this group.

Personally I have gained alot from her experiences, encouragment and challenges to me.

Check out more about her here: http://www.amandadums.theworldrace.org

Lessons in Community

Sun, 1 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Over the course of our five months together as a community there have been some major lessons God's taught me. I'll give you a glimpse into a few journal entries along the way and share how God's spoken to me in these different seasons. Enjoy the journey! ...it's been quite a ride...and we're only at the half-way point!

9-10-08

...I know this is growing us all so I can't despise the circumstance...but I am...just like my place in this house-sometimes I've questioned my place here and WHY I'm even doing ComLife, let alone leading it. Sometimes it's just hard to invest. Truth spoken though and lies cast aside, I'm glad to be in the position I'm in.
Thanks Jesus.

Lesson #1: Thankfulness. I can't grow in a community unless I'm thankful for it. I've learned to ask Why?' a lot less and say Thank You' instead.

9-17-08

Me: What are you calling me to here Lord?

God: ...to love others above yourself.

Me: How do I do that Lord? I feel so incapable and so selfish these days. Will you help me to not focus so much on my own needs? I need to see beyond me. I'm feeling a twinge narcissistic. I want to embody love-to truly shower others with your love. Teach me this Lord. Thank you for loving me so that I can love others. Because you first loved me right?

We loved because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

1 John 4: 19-21

Lesson #2: Love is in complete opposition of selfishness. You can't have love for your brothers and sisters (or even God apparently) when you're hanging on to selfishness. I have not been called to selfishness...I've been called to love. This selfishness issue is a hard one...and one that's most easily rooted out in community. Thank you Jesus (lesson #1). J

10-11-08

...A little bit of journaling time and unfortunately I still have to share space with the clickity clacking of the computer...(sigh)...community... (back up to lesson #2...oops)

Lord, I need some help. I feel a bit like I'm dying here. Like I am stuck under water and can't breathe. I need to hear your voice. Will you help me sort through the mess?

You are surely refining me in the midst of living in this house and through ComLife. God, what do you want to show me here? I want to live with a posture to grow and change, but I feel like I really haven't been all that receptive to changing MY mind. I want others to somehow change and begin to get excited' for and get behind my vision for ComLife. We all have our expectations and feel like everyone else just needs to get on board with it.

I need to repent for making judgments and placing unreal expectations on others. This is not my place and it is poor leadership. God, I need your help to be a quality leader. Would you teach me and give me what it takes to lead effectively? I don't want to just check out, but feel so close to that edge sometimes. I know I can't live without vision. Will you give me wisdom and grace in this Lord? I so desperately need it.

Lesson #3: Our expectations need to die. We get to a place of judgment because of the expectations we place on ourselves and others. If we had no expectations, I think we'd jump to fewer conclusions about our brothers and sisters and walk more in love, which is the point right?

12-15-08

It's so un-fun these days it seems. Jess and I were just talking the other day about our desire as Christians for everything to be exciting and our need to be great in the kingdom, but what does that actually look like? Probably we'll find that the un-fun/obscure people and positions will be the most exulted in heaven. I don't want my reward on earth...but really I do. I want it now. I want to see the fruit of what I pour myself into. And I do...there is fruit here...but sometimes it just doesn't seem so significant-like all the work I put in isn't really going to produce a harvest of righteousness, like my mundane tasks don't even get recognized. I'm not exulted and it's hard to persevere when things don't seem so awesome. God teach me to not be so self-seeking. Teach me about your kingdom and how it works...not how I think it works. YOUR ways. Not mine. Lead me. Help me to be led so that I can lead.

Lesson #4: Greatness isn't measured in WHAT I'm doing...but in what I'm allowing God to do in me. It's the principle of less of me and more of him.' He needs to direct me so that I can follow and he needs to be at the center of our community or we're going nowhere.

Lord, I thank you for rooting out selfishness in me and allowing my expectations to die so that you can form greatness within me and within this community. You are so good!

She looked crazy to me...

Mon, 8 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I could hear her even before I could see her. There was something about her loudly yelling down the street that you couldn't help but notice. As we got closer, the children's sized Santa hat that she wore and the Christmas garland that was wrapped around her neck, along with the four or five layers of clothes on her back, made her quite a spectacle on this calm back street in the heart of Atlanta's downtown.

Shawna and I approached her with inviting smiles and we asked who she was talking to. She kept going off for a minute while eying us suspiciously. In between her ranting she acknowledged us and told us that she was "very blessed and filled with the Holy Ghost." She took our small brown bag filled with an apple, granola bar, bottle of water, pair of socks and an encouraging note with a nod of her head and a thank you.

Our conversation went on from there and she told us about how she'd gone through a bible training school and how some people had given her a bible. She told us her trouble in getting an apartment and a job and we offered to pray. She told us that was exactly what she was doing when we walked up...praying in the spirit.

Perfect. I love it when your assumptions are shattered. She looked cracked out to me from 20 feet away and while we were talking with her and exchanging stories about the goodness of God Shawna exclaimed, "I'm crazier than you are!" To which she laughed and shook her head in agreement with a huge grin.

I couldn't help but smile too. What a beautiful time of encouragement between three fellow sisters. Her smile was so bright. I'll never forget her face and the lesson she taught me about making assumptions based on outward appearances. How many times do we judge a book by its cover or walk right on by someone in our rush to go about our business? And who knows? Maybe she really was cracked out, but it doesn't really matter. What I do know is that the light of Jesus shone brightly on this one that most wouldn't see as a light in the darkness.

This holiday season I'm focusing on really seeing people, on really acknowledging them and not letting the hustle and bustle keep me in my own little world. Sometimes it takes a little craziness for people to get noticed...but what about the ones who aren't screaming?

Who will notice them?

One week.

Sun, 9 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

A week away from home.
                       A week off of work.
                                            A week away from our normal routines.
                                                                   A week set aside for ministry in a little town I've come to love.

Cairo, IL

So much was contained in this one week mission trip with our ComLife group.

One week of...

...reunions with old friends at the Cairo House of prayer

...love given freely to the people of Cairo

...cupcakes and juice given out to kids in the McBride projects

...visiting with shut-ins at the High Rise apartments in town

...worship and prayer together when old friends meet new

...meals shared in the midst of testimonies being told and God being exaulted

...VBS with the little ones at the Elmwood projects teaching them about God's power by creating a wall of Jericho and parading around it shouting as the walls come down

...strategic prayer happening around a town desperate for declarations of hope and restoration

...food given to those without means with smiles and the kindness of Christ

...tutoring students in a school system that has a 75% drop out rate as kids enter high school

...honest team debriefs that reached new levels of vulnerability and openness

There were plenty of things that stood out during our one week here. Each point above could be its own blog, but one comment made by a dear sister in Cairo impacted me the most this week. She said:

True community comes when you

stop escaping from one another

and start escaping to one another.

Her heart in this matter has been tested and tried by three years of intentional community with a little tribe in this town. The truth is that you can't really get away in Cairo. There are no cute coffee shops to hide away in, no outside friends your age to spend time with, no shopping malls to shop in, no music or entertainment to spend time on. In Cairo, we had to learn to lean on one another for everything and our group here in Gainesville is learning this simple truth too.

We're learning how to love each other and how to be intentional. We're trying to reach God's heart and to see it in our brothers and sisters. We're saying yes to intentionality and saying no to escaping from each other. Instead we're committing to each other under Christ's love. And that's the first step.

Jesus, teach us how to hold one another up. Teach us how to love. Teach us about one another and how you've gifted each one. Help us to help each other and to spur on the passions and dreams you've deposited in us. Give us your heart for one another. Teach us how to forge ahead in all you have planned for us. Thanks for your grace through the process.

In the Presence of Greatness

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

We're just now winding down from the World Race training camp hoopla last week. It's amazing how the AIM office just comes to life during training camp. Everyone has a job to do to make things run, last minute details are being taken care of, new faces arrive hopping off the bus from the airport, and our amazing teachers arrive ready to light some fires in people's hearts.

I love that aspect of training camp. I love that AIM brings out their best and brightest during these times. They enlist seasoned prayer counselors and fly in trusted pastors and teachers to lead and guide this new group into greatness. Really, the teachings each night are my favorite part. I love being in the presence of greatness. I love being around people who have been there and done that' and have the stories to prove it. I love that their hearts are for my generation and that their greatest desire is for us to walk as sons and daughters of the King.

I love the encouragement that they bring. I love the life they speak. I love the prayers they pray. I love the way they inspire. I can truly say I'd love to be like them when I grow up. J

Inspiring. Honest. Experienced. Trustworthy. Passionate. Genuine.

These are things these people encompass with seeming ease and I want to learn from them how to get there. It's honestly been hard for me to admit lately that I'm not everything I want to be quite yet. I haven't made it' or felt incredibly accomplished these days. I sometimes wonder where my passion has gone. I question my own genuineness and find it hard to inspire myself, let alone inspire others.

Truly, I'm learning what it means to not be finished, but to be in a place of brokenness. I'm learning that I can't do things on my own. I'm learning that I need people with more experience around me. I'm learning to let people in, letting them see me at my worst, allowing them to speak into my life, and most importantly learning to ask for help.

The truth is, I haven't made it to greatness and neither have the inspiring teachers at AIM. We're all a work in progress, but we're on our way. We're taking steps towards greatness and we're helping each other get there. I'm learning that this is perhaps the most important part about community-pursuing greatness with others.

I think it starts with knowing that we aren't great by our own rights, but to get there we'll need to submit to Christ and submit to one another. This is where I start my quest for greatness....by opening the door of my heart and letting others in.

The blue tarp called Community

Thu, 2 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

How do you build a team?

Well here at AIM, we're a real fan of 'team-builders' during the first week of initial contact. Nothing gets you closer than someone forcing you to stand on a small blue tarp with the task of flipping it over without any human appendage touching the ground. (a near impossible task, trust me.)

It takes a certain level of strategy, communication, and forced comfort while you're basically on top of one another. We find ourselves in similar circumstances in real life doing this ComLife thing--we live so closely that we HAVE to find ways to communicate...and invariably end up either close to tears or laughing uncontrollably.

The ups and downs are striking, but much like this teambuilder, we have to hold each other up. Each person has to make it...because if one big toe touches the ground, our consequence is to run up a hill around a tree and start over from the beginning. (no bueno.)

We can't loose this thing--we're in it together.

Sometimes, things don't always go so well...the strategy might fail...people might let us down...

We might be just hanging on to the very edge at points...

...but, we're a family...

and we stick together.

We have a bond of unity in Christ that can't be broken.
Through thick and thin, we're in this together.

ComLifers: Thanks for being my family and pushing through it all and looking more like Christ because of it.

Avid Blog Readers: Thanks for holding me up from afar. Your support keeps me afloat--I couldn't do this without you.

This is ComLife.

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

A blog.
Some words.
A story to tell.
But maybe I can't.
It just doesn't seem to come out so well.

Words on pages just aren't the same words on my heart.
I wish I could say it all, I just don't know where to start.

ComLife.
It's hard, it's good.
Life. Love. Choosing in.
Some days it's good...some days you can't win.

I want to stop it all, but love it at the same time.
I was made for this.
God called me here.
Why do I feel like I'm loosing my mind?

Nothing left to give, no more words to speak.
No life to breathe, no hearts to move.
When will we finally find our groove?

A vision.
A holy calling.
A longing for authenticity.
It's in the heart of us all.

We want it, but we don't know how to live it.
We're walking it out, not sure of the outcome.
We're pressing in to take hold of something we don't even understand.
We're fighting a fight we can't comprehend.

This is so much bigger than us.
And yet it is just us.

Eight.
A troop.
A band of brothers.
A group that will fight and give life and bear with one another.
A body that will look more like Christ. His bride being refined.

This is our lives.
This is what we were called to.
This is ComLife.

ComLife updated newsletter

Tue, 9 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Fellowship devoted to teaching breaking of bread prayer awe,

signs,wonders all things in common...as any had need attend temple together

praising God glad and generous hearts Favor adding to their number daily

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Update: I've moved my life to Gainesville, GA and have spent the last few weeks setting up a house that will soon be filled with 10 people who make up the ComLife crew. I've come a month early to get the house ready making sure everyone has a bed and dresser, finding cheap furniture for our place and talking through what exactly it is we're doing with this new program with my leadership at AIM. Each day as we make general plans, it becomes more and more apparent that we have no idea what we're doing. I hope that's not too brutally honest for a newsletter...but it's the truth. I'm realizing that the only way this program will work is if it is 100% backed by the Lord. And honestly, I think it is. (insert sigh of relief here) J

ComLife exists because of the cry from my generation for something more. Young people have rejected the old model of the traditional church, but haven't replaced it with anything of value. They're calling out for the things the church is lacking. They're fed up with the hypocrisy they see and want real, ragged and raw life lived together. But how do you jump out of the box and get there? Well, one answer is move to Gainesville and bunk up with us at our new house on Riverside Dr. I've already said that we're not exactly sure what we're doing, but we're trusting God with the details. Here's what the structure looks like so far:

Community Living-We share rooms, we share groceries, we put some of our money in a household account and live life together. We pray and sing together every morning. We have bible studies and we have fun. We're going to try this out and hope we're all alive at the end. We're going to learn about grace.
Mentorship-Let's face it, we didn't move to Gainesville for the landscape. We came to have some life and wisdom poured into us by the amazing families and missionaries that make up AIM. We want what they have and honestly want to learn how to be like them when we grow up.
Internship-We're going to work in the office at AIM part-time. We'll get a behind the scenes look at what it takes to run a missions agency and we'll give back. We'll work in the office because that's what serving is and we want to learn how to serve another person's dream.
Leadership/Training-Some amazing teachers pass through the doors at AIM and we're going to be here to glean from them all we can. Our Friday mornings are devoted to teaching times and we're excited to grow through the wisdom of others.
Ministry-We're going to get involved in the community of Gainesville, which conveniently has a population of over 80,000 Hispanics. We'll practice our Spanish, love on some children, and share the love of Christ. We've met some awesome ministries in this area and we're going to seek to be a light to this place because we believe that we're supposed to be missionaries everywhere we go.

With these five categories as our semi-structure, we're going to trust God to mold and expand this as He would want it. It's being held loosely in our hands and we're just seeking to hear His voice on how it all plays out. My guess is that God's got a huge plan for it to expand beyond what we can even imagine, beyond our personal reach, beyond Gainesville. I think he wants these types of missional communities everywhere-I mean, He did outline it all for the early church in Acts 2. They're our heroes and we want to be like them. Would you join us in this new endeavor?

I'm in a pretty serious financial crunch these days. Since I'll be pouring myself into ComLife and its development and mobilization, I will not have much time to get a part-time job to support myself. I'd love for you to partner with me in prayer and finances. Would you pray about becoming one of my monthly supporters as I become a full time staff member with AIM? My support goal is $10,000 for the year, but I need $3,000 to begin receiving a paycheck. I've got two weeks to get this money in before I need to start filling out applications at Starbucks. Thanks for praying and considering quickly! J I'll be making follow up phone calls within the next few weeks to talk through any questions with you. Thanks for praying about this and for all your support!

With love,

Amanda Dums

My Blog: amandadums@theworldrace.org Email: amandadums@gmail.com

Adventures In Missions PO Box 534470 Atlanta, GA 30353-4470

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If you'd like to contribute finances to help my support account out, just click HERE to donate securely online with your debit or credit card. You can even become a monthly supporter right online...how convenient! Thanks everyone for all your love! Pray with me for funds to come in quickly!

Pics of the new ComLife House

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The last few weeks have been a flurry of activity getting our new house ready to be a home for the ComLife crew's arrival on Sept. 1st. Here's a pictorial view of our new digs. I didn't post them all here, but you can check them out in their entirety on my photo page here.

Here it is--The ComLife House. We're in love with this home. It's a little old and has it's quirks, but it's got some great character!

Our new address is:

1075 A Riverside Dr.

Gainesville, GA 30501

(send me mail!!) :)

Talk about real community-8 girls with 2 bathrooms!! The one on the left is kind of in one of the bedrooms...but we've made a faux hallway with a pretty curtain for more privacy. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty small and 3 people will share it. The one on the right is the main bathroom and 5 of us will share this one.

The dining room and kitchen. Can you believe we found this huge table for $75?? There will be plenty of 'breaking bread' had around this great table! The kitchen is great, but is pretty much a hallway...so there's not much room to move around--cooking for 10 is going to be a blast!! But I LOVE the big windows with lots of plants! (God knew I needed that!) :)

The living room. This amazing couch was only $100! We will all have some amazing naps here and sweet fellowship time. It really is the best couch I've ever seen. ever. I'm very pumped. :) The fireplace doesn't work...so we'll have to make due with some candles or something...That white plasma tv stand is not staying there...but we'll use it for extra seating. We're working on getting a small TV that will go right under that 'lil built in wall shelf. Movie night!! woo hoo!!

Jess is at the computer/crafting table in our sun room. Talk about creative juices flowing in this room--I love it! We'll have a house PC hooked to the internet and also wifi access. I brought my sewing machine and knitting materials galore. (get excited!) We're working on getting some comfy chairs for the corners to make a lil reading nook. I'm in love with this room. You will probably find me here...um...always.

Things wouldn't be complete without scary house pictures! This is the creepy basement that houses our washer and dryer. The other one is our prayer room!! No, we're not forcing everyone into a dark, small attic room to pray...we're hoping to fix it up real awesome-like, make some floor pillows, add some musical ambiance and create a sweet little prayer get away space. I know you can envision it. In any case, it will be a fun community project to get it looking like someone would actually want to spend any time in there!

I hope that gives you all a good idea of where we're living and a bit of what I've been up to lately. God's really been hooking us up with GREAT deals on furniture and so many people have pitched in to help us move things in and get situated. I can't wait for everyone to get here and for all of the vision to unfold as we walk life out together here in Gainesville!

Seasons Change

Tue, 8 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT

It seems like it was two weeks ago that I left the World Race. I still refer to myself as being in the re-entry process. I'm shocked when I count the months since we've been home. Eight. Eight whopping monthsand then I realize that 8 is definitely more than half a year and I find myself in a stupor musing, "More than half a year already?? What have I done with all that time?"

The World Race always seemed to be packed with meaningful thingswalking into barrios and praying healing over people, packing up a flatbed truck with 120 lb. bags of food to feed starving refugees, holding orphans and showing love to those who need it most, sitting with prostitutes showering them with love and words of affirmation. Being in such striking circumstances really provides the time to pull the best out of you. You're challenged and given an opportunity to be the will of God in people's lives. You affect people's lives with your words and your actions, however small they arean arm on a widow's shoulder and a smile shows care and love, swinging orphans around and around and around again bring squeals of delight. These are the things I remember with such great detail. It seems like yesterday.

And then I think about what I was actually doing yesterdayand all the yesterdays that are contained in the last 8 months and I'm almost surprised at how similar they are to some of the "World Race" things I did. I've seen revival hereI've prayed for people's bodies in the US and seen them healed. I've spent time giving out food to those in need at our local soup kitchen. I've swung little kids around too, whether they are my friend's newest additions to the family or at risk kids from the projects (you get the same squeal either way!) I've lived in relationship with people in intentional community just like the World Race. We share. We pray. We want our own space. We make accommodations for others. We play. We give. We love.

Eight months have gone by and I'm still learning to love. Things don't change that drastically when you're off the race if you really think about it. Sure, circumstances are different and your surroundings may be much less dire, but there is always the opportunity to love, to give of yourself, and to be Jesus to those in need. North America needs the love of God too! Amen?!

So that's it, I've spent these last 8 months loving my fellow Americans and seeking God and allowing him to show me how to love. Places change, but He does not. Here's to the next 8 months wherever that may take me!

(for info on just where that may be read my next post here) J

Community Life: The Life I Never Asked For

Tue, 8 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The next step for me: Gainesville, GA

I have to admit, it's still hard for me to say that without the gag reflex coming up a bit from somewhere deep within me. Now before you get really mad at me, let me explain. It's not that I don't like AIM or even Georgia for that matter. I don't hate community living, in fact, I actually love it and think I was designed for it. Really my almost violent opposition in moving to Gainesville comes from the fact that I was tricked by God into doing it. Yeah, I said tricked. God pretty much pulled a bait and switch on mehe's tricky like that. J Here's the story:

When I returned home from the race I got a clear vision from the Lord to buy a house in Cairo, IL and start a community house there fusing together Prayer and Missions. It was Luke 10 meets Luke 18. Brilliant, I thought. So I wrote up a proposal and got really excited, started looking at houses in Cairo and found the one I was supposed to buy. I started praying and fasting like you wouldn't believe. We were all rallied and pumped at the prospects. I had lists upon lists of stuff to do, things we'd need, wish lists, and repair sheetsI even received some donations for the house. These first fruits only sealed the deal for me and confirmed that I was in fact headed in the right direction. YES! Vision in motion!!

Until Good Friday hit and God started talking to me about a few things. He was making it clear that I was putting the house, the process, the "stuff" in front of the vision. (yikes.) So he asked me to lay it down. Yep, Isaac style. Let it all go. Throw it on the altar. I almost couldn't do it. I had been so excited, so sure of what God wanted me to dohadn't I??

I wrote my plea on a piece of paper that night, asked for forgiveness for making this thing an idol in my life and burned it before the cross with the rest of my team. A weight fell off my shoulders and I had peace. If God was going to bring back this Isaac, it was up to him. Enter the struggle of trying to trust. Of course God will give this vision back, right? I had no doubts. Surely it will come in timeright? Right?!?

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Not sure of what I'm supposed to do, not really sure which direction to go in and BAM the Gainesville thing pops up on the radar. UGH. I stick my tongue out and think "I'm sooo done with those programsI'm ready to just live my life for God. I'm pioneering stuff here!" (this is pride talking FYIsooo not pretty.)

I sit on this prospect for months promising all the folks at AIM that I'll pray about it. I'm pretty much not into it at allbut I have to be open to what the Lord wants right? And so I pray and I fast and I plead with Him to say no to this. I'm really shocked at the promptings I'm getting. Gainesville, Gainesville everywherefriends who don't even know what's going on with me are talking to me about Georgia. People start giving me advice and finishing my sentences completing them with "OH! Going to Georgia seems like a great opportunity!" WHAT?!!?!

I finally let it sink in and give up my selfish ambitions and say yes. Yes to anything God. Yes to where you're leading. And Gainesville it is. I've told some people that I'm going kicking and screaming, but really my thoughts have changed. I'm going because it's where God wants me to be. I'm going because he said Go. It's taken quite a process for me to get therea whole vision unfolded, the house hunting process, a denied loan, and the death of my pride and selfishness.

But I'm now Georgia-bound and know that it was God's plan all along. Who knows the surprises he'll have around the bend this time?

Revival on my mind

Wed, 14 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

My community here in Cairo started almost daily watching the Lakeland Revival live online a few weeks ago and just had to hop planes down there to check it out in person. After five days there I can say that I'm quite taken with what God is doing. The healing testimonies are outrageous, but it's God's presence that is such a draw for me. Seth wrote a blogwith some good links and a video from Todd so check that out for more info. Here are some of my thoughts from my time spent with 15,000 desperate and hungry people from around the globe in Lakeland.

I like that God uses everyoneordinary people like me in powerful ways. I love that it's not just about the manifestations or the boomba-shoomba, but it's about HIM. Knowing Him. Walking with Him. It's the greatest miracle.

So often we miss that. So often it's lost in the crowd of healings and meetings and even shockingly in our worship. I really noticed a shift in our worship each night as we stopped singing about ourselves (repentant, inward looking, get right with God songs) and began to sing directly to Jesus and sit before His throne-room and pour out our praise. Surely you've felt the difference before. Some call it the moment where you truly "enter in." Todd and his folks call it "the glory." It's as though God's very presence is residing with us as we worshipand He is.

There's a tangible presence of God that has me hooked. I can't get enough of it. It's the kind of worship that makes you weep for no reason, causes you to stop singing, be still, and simply dwell upon His goodness, when you just have to get on your knees and sit in awe of Him knowing that He is worthy of praise.

The worship I've been a part of at this revival is some of what I'm talking aboutif you actually take the opportunity for it. It's true, you can get lost in the things going on around you, the people who are a little more, um, exuberant in their expression. If you're watching, you're not participating and I had to make that distinction personally many times.

I'd close my eyes and enter into my own little world with Jesus only to open them to see people on stage walking out of wheelchairs. I was almost miffedwhat did I miss? Where did that transition of healing come in? I totally missed how we went from worship time to healing time? What's the deal?!

But then I realize that isn't how God works. Todd exclaims from the stage, "God is doing a work out in the crowds now. In the midst of our worship His Spirit is touching people and healing them. If you feel heat or electricity you know the Spirit is on you and God is healing you. Let's keep worshipping. Pray for the people around you now. Let's keep calling on Jesus. Don't get distracted."

And it goes on from there. We sing, we worship, we pray and the lines of people waiting on either side of the stage to give a testimony grow longer and longer. It's amazing how it all happens with no agenda, no one using cue cards for the TV cameras, no logos or labels. Though it may look contrary on the screen from your home, there's really not much pomp and circumstance. It's quite simple reallyhungry people are calling out to their God to move on their behalf, He hears them, has compassion and moves to answer. I love that. It reminds me of this verse I know so well:

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

We're asking.

He's answering.

It's a beautiful thing.

The only issues and controversies I've run into are from those who aren't truly asking or from those who don't like God's answer when He gives it.

It's like I never left the World Race

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

If you think the World Race stops once you hit American soil, well you've got another thing coming. I think I may have slept on more couches/random beds since being back in the US than I did around the world. Wellperhaps not, but it would be a good toss up. Needless to say, since being home I've been quite the little traveler. I guess it takes awhile to get it out of your system? Here's a shortish rundown on where I've been and what I've done since being home post race. Enjoy!____________________________________________________________________________

To kick things off right, Thanksgiving was only TWO days after our arrival stateside. Talk about a quick recovery time! A few days to sleep in, get over the jetlag and put together a slide show for the fam. It was a great time to reconnect with everyone and Oh my Gawsh, the food!! Don't even get me started! :) soooo yummy. God bless America.

A week later and I was on the open road headed to Cairo to see my second family at Two Rivers. What a reunionjust like old times!

A quick stop in Nashville with Jess to see Nickel Creek's last hurrah at the Ryman. (amazing!)

Back to Cairo for a week looking at real estate, catching up w/ the fam, and spending time processing and praying through my last year.

A quick jaunt up to Naperville to speak at a church about the WRwhat an awesome connection!

A lil side trip to Indiana to see my favorite-soon-to-be-married-WR-couple, Chad and Erin

Straight up to Milwaukee to reconnect with a college buddy and her new ministry

A stop in Madison to visit one of my college girls and another couple with a cute baby! I even squeezed in enough time to take their Christmas photo. (I'm that good.)

La Crosse was next on the list and I couldn't even record all the people I ran into. That's just what happens when you go back to your college town! I love it!

And then, the beautiful trek up to Minneapolis where I slept on a random person's couch at the place my friend was house-sitting forsooo niceand weird. A great time of reconnecting with some long lost friendsmuch needed and so good.

I swung by River Falls to pick up my brother at college (didn't I just do this like 2 weeks ago?!) I finally got a break from driving and a bit of company on the ride back to Rib Lake. Whew! What an awesome Midwest roadtrip.

A few days to chill at home and hang with the locals that I loveAngie, Aaron, Sarah, Brittany, and before you know itit's Christmas!!

I had about a week at home before I left for the One Thing Conference in Kansas City. Third year running. I actually left for the World Race from this conference last yearcrazy.

This year though I tacked on another conference called the Luke 18 Project which was also in Kansas City. Talk about amazingthis was just what I needed and God knew it. It was as though people were putting words to things that were already planted on my heart.

Shawna and I headed back to Cairo for one day. It was a bummer that we didn't have longer to hang out, but we had a plane to catch so we drove up St. Louis to catch our flight to Seattle.

In Seattle, we met up with Jenny, Telfer and Aragorn and drove to Abbotsford, BC for the Secret Place conference with Todd Bentley, Jason Upton and Heidi Baker. After all the world traveling you'd think everyone would bring their passports, eh? Wellwith some prayers we made it across the border.

We stayed a few days and rested with Shawna's Auntie Gertie and took a quick tour of Vancouver, almost made it to Victoriabut decided against it at the last minute (sorry jon). We decided instead to drive down to Seattle where we met up with Casey who saved us from sleeping in the truck that night. The next day we met up with other racers Kari, Jenny and Candicegood times.

After a day on the beach where my expectations were exceedingly and abundantly MET, Shawna and I continued on to Portland so I could visit with an old college roommate of mine. We stayed at her cute place, spun some yarn, drank some tea and took some whacky pics on the macbook just like old times!

Soon enough it was time to head out and journey south on Highway 1. Beautiful coastline. Redwoods. Awesome.

We spent one night in Redding, CA at Bill Johnson's ChurchBethel. The first night we slept in the truck. I wouldn't suggest it and neither would the parking lot attendant at the prayer roomso we got a hotel the second night. Our time here was a great eye-opener to what God is doing around the nation and in different tribes.

San Fransisco was the next stop so we could pick up my Cairo friends, Jess and Heather, who flew in to meet us. We spent the night with an old Youthworks friend at a church and toured the city, reenacted the Full House scene, didn't pay to take the ferry to Alcatraz or drive on the Golden Gate Bridge, or ride a street car. Ok. so we did the cheap version of San Franwe're on a budget. What can I say?

Cruised down to San Jose to visit with another house of prayer. We participated in a Fire in the Night worship and chilled with some great people!

After a quick refueling we headed back to Redding for a few days because Heather was attending the writing conference. We stayed with a Bethel Student who Heather and Jess met in Mozambiquewho is actually Australian. Random and awesomewouldn't have it any other way!

Next we booked it to Atascadero for a pit stop at another Youthworks hook upeven toured some vineyards and saw some pretty ocean views.

Hollywood was the next stop and we had NO hook ups this time. Good thing we made friends with some Christians that night so we had a place to stay! Thanks God! He's really awesome at providing. I love random new friends! We partnered with a Hollywood ministry and got to tour Paramount pictures. Pray for Hollywood!

Now here's a real long shotin Long Beach! I had no clue the C-squad World Racers were in town for a 48 hour layover. Divine? I think so. AND it just happened to be Shawna's birthday. So we planned a pretty rad surprise partay with 50 or so special guests. It was awesome to see these guys again and hear more stories face to face!

One last night in Costa Mesa with some lovely ladies Heather knew and we were off to San Clemente for a final view of the beach. We dropped Jess off with some San Diego friends, left Shawna to find her way back north and Heather and I hopped on a plane in Santa Ana headed to Cairo.

And at the end of it all...the purpose in it always, always is LOVE.

The Waves of Re-entry

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

November 19^th, 2007 marked the end of the World Race for me. I flew into LA with the rest of the squad and said final goodbyes as we grabbed our luggage at the baggage claim. One final passport check and custom line to stand in and it was over. I gathered my bags and said hi to some racer's parents who had picked them up in LA and soon headed to the terminal where I'd catch my red eye flight to Minneapolis.

It was then that it hitthe first wave of tears. As I walked to my connecting flight alone, something I hadn't done all year (you're never alone on the WR!) reality set in. ALONE. There weren't 40 familiar faces and voices around me. I wasn't watching a mammoth pile of luggagenow I only had my own. I actually had to think about where I was going in the airportI couldn't just follow the crowd of rowdy Americans! And it ripped at my heart a bitwe really had just parted ways. I remember handing my ID to the ticket lady with tears in my eyes and knew that everyone probably thought I was leaving a boyfriend or something. I even had some flowers from Shawna's momhaha! I probably was quite a sight.

I also remember getting to my gate and hearing that familiar Midwest accent again as I waited for the plane. There was something comforting about itbut it seemed almost foreign too. I mean, it had been a year since I'd talked to anyone else but my mom from up north! But it got me excited to see my parents in only a few short hours. With bittersweet thoughts I boarded the smallest little plane I took all year to get back home.

And then I recall my first spiritual attack happening somewhere between 2-3 a.m. as I shifted in my half-sleep on the plane and hoisted my knee on the backseat of the man in front of me. BIG MISTAKE. He whirled around and yelled at me, shared a few choice words, made me feel like a major idiot, and woke up at least three rows around us. Awesome. Not only was I dealing with the pain of leaving my teammates, the anticipation of getting home and the utter exhaustion of traveling for over 48 hours straight, I had to have this guy snap on me in the middle of the night.

I calmly apologized and sank back into my seat, carefully avoiding any knee to chair contact and more tears began to form in my eyesthis I call the second wave. And I knew in an instant that Satan wanted me defeated. I had to recognize that this was a spiritual battle. That it wasn't about me and it wasn't about that guy. This was an attack and I couldn't let it get to me. I quietly rebuked Satan and declared who I was in Christ and regained the victory that was in the throes of being snatched away. I closed my eyes and climbed up in Jesus' lap and tried to rest for the remainder of my flight.

6:00 a.m. found me in the great Midwest once again and I had one last quiet moment before I met my parents. It was all so surreal. There they were and they looked the same! It really was amazing to reconnect with them. We picked up my brother from his college dorm (What?! My baby brother in college?) Yep, you miss quite a bit in those 11 months! I stayed awake for a few minutes and chatted it up in the car but couldn't make it home without zonking out. I was blinking my eyes open right as we pulled into our driveway. The feeling was slightly reminiscent of when I was put under when my wisdom teeth were pulledseriously out of it. I thought I'd get home, take a little nap and be up for dinner, but when my brother came in to wake me up around 5:00 p.m. I just wouldn't budge. When 8:00 p.m. rolled around I finally rolled out of my bed, even though it took a few minutes to figure out if it was still night or morning. :) All I can say is that your own bed truly is one of the best things after the World Race. Cherish it!

A full pantry full of my favorite foods, a stocked refrigerator, your family, couches, TVwhoa. These are the great things about being home. The not so greats for me were the quiet moments when I'd lay in my bed thinkingthinkingthinking

Did I really just do this trip? Was it only weeks ago that I was across the world? Is tomorrow really Thanksgiving?? Oh my goodness!! Overwhelming' can be the general term of most things going on right about now. It's a word that can be good and bad and generally happens at the same time. If that even makes sense. For you racers out there this will be a common theme, always asking "Does this even make sense?" You'll constantly question yourself and if the people around you are getting you at all. Or more like if you even get yourself. And that's just half the fun. Get excited!!

In honor of my World Race friends and especially to those who will be reconnecting with the American soil in a few short daysthis blog goes out to you. Know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and that He always has plans for you. The waves of re-entry aren't big enough to overtake you, so don't worryyou're going to make it! You are loved!!

I'll be posting more about what's happened in the last 6 months or so toolook for those blogs coming soon!

A few top tens and a squatty tour

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT

The World Race wouldn't be complete without a few final Top Ten lists from the year. I mostly post this for some fun and to let you in on a bit of my processing time during our debrief. I think it's always good to know what you love, what you'll miss and what you're walking away from with a smile!

Top Ten Things I miss from HOME:

10. Secret deodorantthese roll-ons around the world just don't cut it!

9. Fructis ShampooI just love that smell and haven't seen it in 11 months.

8. American restaurantsespecially Panera's You pick 2' soup and sandwichmm

7. High speed/wireless internet yes I love technology

6. American bras and underwearcan't find these anywhere! and after 11 months the ones I have are looking a little thin. I'll be glad to go shopping for necessities!

5. couchesnot gonna lie, I can't wait to snuggle into the lazy boy at home and chillax...

4. DESSERTyou never get this after a meal around the world. I can't wait for some good Midwest BARS and brownies.

3. My own bed with clean sheets!

2. Mom's chili with REAL WISCONSIN CHEESE!!

1. A hot shower. No need to explain. Glorious!!

mmmm...good food...good friends...good times...I can't wait!

Top Ten Things I'll miss from the RACE:

10. 50 million modes of transportation all the time (sleeper train, bus, tram, subway, rick-shaw, tuk-tuk, flatbed truck, taxi) Oh I'll miss all of you!

9. Random Food: "What is that?" (shrug) Pop it inhmmtasty!

8. SPICY food! Everything's gonna seem so bland at home. :)

7. Spontaneous dance parties with iPod speakers.

6. Watching the Office' with every spare moment of down time.

5. Watching movies (or the Office) on an iPod or laptop computer with 17 other people. "Who's got speakers??"

how many girls can you pile on a bed for a movie??

4. Hilarious homemade videos coming from our group of hilarious people.

3. MARKETS! Cheap and awesome junk from around the world!

2. Massages, girl time, cuddles and hugs.

1. Worship together and seeking God with 50 other amazing men and women of God. I'll miss you all! I love you!

Top Ten Things I WON'T miss from the RACE:

10. Sleeping in around 90 different beds over the course of 11 months.

9. Packing, Repacking and packing again.

8. Hauling said packed bag around everywherethe train, the hostel, oops we went the wrong wayturn around, onto the bus, the long walk there, up the stairsnow we're "home"

7. The herd mentality. "Just keep walkingI'm sure someone knows where we're going."

...nope...we're definitely lost and these bags are heavy and I'm tired...ugh...

6. Public defecation. If I never see random strangers poo or pee again I'll be happy.

5. Always making at least one other person come with you anywhereughsafety

4. WAITING. Hurry up and wait is the key phrase in travel. Run to the train station, whew we made it! then sit in the waiting room for 5 hours until the delayed train arrivesnever fails.

3. Keeping Finances. "Can I have some money for food? Are we getting reimbursed for this? Is this on team?" Not sad to see this responsibility go.

2. Traveller's Diarrhea. nuf said.

1. Squatty potties for above mentioned reasons. Blech!

SQUATTIES 'ROUND THE WORLD

And just for some added fun, I thought I'd give you a tour of the squatties we've seen on every continent!

Utupampa, Peru

...yep, that tarp with huge holes is the door! fun fun!

Mozambique, Africa

an even closer photo would show the maggots going crazy at the bottom of this long drop! mmmmm....

University in China

yes, those stalls are only 4 ft. tall--say hi to your neighbor! I say that if you're going to make the step up to a porcelain toilet you might as well have a seat on it...come on people!

Well, that's it! I hope you enjoyed the tour!
Now do you see why I'm excited for home?!
Only a few more days and I can't wait! Yay!

I survived China. whew...

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I survived CHINA!! ...and...

I've made it back to Hong Kong!!

...and I made it in one piece! We've got limited internet for the next few days while we're here at the YWAM base in Hong Kong so expect some blogs coming your way soon about our time in China, but be patient as it may be a few days to get everything together. God was surely faithful to us in our time there--He is working in huge ways in that country. Wow.

Our final debrief is in full swing and it's hard not to count down the days until I'll be on American soil, but the feelings are a bit bittersweet; I'll definitely miss this season of life.

...and... as I stand on the financial side of things concerning the World Race...I still have a few loose ends to tie up equaling about $700. If you're so inclined to get me home on a plane from China, I'd love the extra help. You can click the red link "Support Me!" right over there on the left and make a quick deposit or send a check into AIM with my name in the memo line. Thanks for all of your support, your blog comments (wink!), and all the love and prayers on my behalf over the year! It's been an amazing journey!

Signing off for China...

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Our last month of the World Race is going to be in China and we fly out of Bangkok tomorrow afternoon. Many of you knew this and were anticipating it, but what you may have not been anticipating is the soon to be almost complete lack of communication from China on this blog.

For security reasons none of us will be able to access the World Race site from mainland China because the government monitors all internet usage and we don't want to send red flags about what we're doing there. Any emails sent to me or sent out from my email need to be coded so that any Christian words (God, Jesus, Bible, Christ, Holy, Church, World Raceeven Olympics is a key no no word) are not included in an email. The Olympics are going to be held in China in 2008 and so the government is hyper sensitive about any mention of them. They even monitor any groups of white people over seven near Beijing, so we'll even have to look out for that!

We'll be able to post from Hong Kong when we arrive and from there at debrief so hopefully I won't be completely silent on here about China. Please, please be in prayer for all of us as we head into this last countryfor safety and discernment and for favor with the Chinese people and government. We don't want to reveal any of the full-time missionaries we'll be working with so pray for that as well.

These are the kids praying for us at the orphanage in Cambodia before we left. I hope your prayers are as concentrated as theirs were! So cute! :)

Seriously though, thanks to everyone who's been with me throughout this entire journey and I can't wait to see all my friends and family at homeyou are greatly missed and I love you!!

Here's the lowdown on my schedule for the rest of the year: (I'm never this organized! right mom?)

Oct 11^thFly to Hong Kong from Bangkok

Oct 12th Orientation at YWAM in Hong Kong

Oct 13th Last Race around Hong Kong

Oct 14th Group Meeting and specifics on ministry and training

Oct 15th - Nov 10th Ministry that's "off the map"

Nov 11th Travel Day to Hong Kong

Nov 12th - 18th Debrief in Hong Kong

Nov 19th Flight home to LA and then Minneapolis

Nov 20th HOME SWEET HOME!

Nov 22nd Thanksgiving with the Fam (can't wait to see you all!)

Frolicking through the World Race

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Another month on the World Race has ended and I can hardly believe that there's only ONE month left! Our most recent month in Cambodia was such a growing time for me. As I suppose anyone would feel after 10 months of ministry, you feel poured out and emptytruly feeling the effects of loving and loving and loving and loving people in a continuous succession of places around the globe. We all joked that the World Race really was meant to be a nine month trip, wasn't it?! Wasn't it?? anyone? Bueller?

Through the tiredness, the feelings of being washed up, dried out, fed up and just plain sick and tired of meeting new people to love and pour your heart out to when you just don't have any more love to give!!! ...(sigh)God taught me about himself and really what he's after.

Isn't it just so easy to choose him when it's easy? I love those times when frankly, I'm just in love with Jesus. Where I can picture myself frolicking in a field of daisies holding hands with the one I love and just being so a part of things that everything just feels right in the world and I know my place and I know I'm loved and things areGOODand you breathe in the air and you just sigh and know that this is right and the love just flows so easily, doesn't it?

And then you're in Cambodia and it's month TEN of the World Race and there are no daisies anymore and you can't remember the last time you frolicked and your heart feels more pain than love because you've seen these things in the world that hurt God's heart and now they hurt your heart too and the only thing that can describe your feelings isHEAVY. But you hate moping around with this weight and people begin to think you're just becoming disillusioned and tired and maybe a bit whiny because you're thinking about home (weren't there some daisies I remember in that place?? I think I can recall them there??...) And sometimes you just want to roll up in a ball on the floor because you can't fake being happy but you can't handle the weight either and this whole thing is just confusing and what was so wrong with things being EASY Lord?!?

Maybe that's just the thing: We're longing for easiness instead of the perfect love from the Father that made that place easy in the first place.

And so this is what God's been teaching me this month. Choosing to focus on his love, his promises, his word, and his truth and not on the things that those gifts bring to my life. His love ruins me and I'll frolic in a field like an idiot just because I have to because that's the condition of my heart and I'm just so lovesick I can't control it! Or I'll walk into an orphanage and I'll carry in that love and waste myself on dirty little kids that need to be held, that need to be thrown up in the air and spun around once in a while, or that need someone to tell them how beautiful that scribble on a piece of paper looks, or that need a pat on the head or a little wink and a smirk that says I LOVE YOU. I am lovesick here too and it doesn't make sense that I'm not frolicking but yet I feel the same feeling. I'm dirty and sweaty and yet my heart yearns and I am positively bursting with love. The tears fall from my face because I am so in awe of my God and his beautiful little face that I've now seen in ten different countries around the world.

This is not easy. I never really thought it would be and I never thought that I could frolic every day, but I really think that this is the secret. I need to be in that secret place with him and I need to choose to get there even when the circumstances are rough and I'm growing tired and am ready for home and disillusionment is in my peripheral view and it's coming to get me and I'm overwhelmed and want to just stop and lay down and rest and why is the world spinning out of my control?!?!

Oh to just choose him under these circumstances!! What a joy will fill your heart and his and in that place my friends you will be able to frolic and even though the world won't make any more sense than it did before and you won't have an answer to the AIDS epidemic and poverty still smacks you in the face everyday and the injustice rips at your heart, you will be hidden in a place with Jesus that is so sweet and intimate. And then you will hear his voice from that place that says, go hold that little baby over there who has AIDS and sing to him and pray over him and then go sit down on the overpass with those two boys that are begging and just be with them. Yes, buy them food and then just sit like I sit with you because I love being with you.

When God tells you these things it's an honor to do them and you don't have to respond with a snuff and say, "Really God?? Why? Why nowcan't you see I'm doing this now?" No I've learned this lesson the hard way. Yes, he really means it and no you don't have to question himin fact, there can come a time in your life where your joy and your rest comes from a place of serving and loving those around you and not by simply reading a psalm every day. And it doesn't have to kill you to give of yourself if you give when you're in a place of rest with the lord.

And this is where I am nowchoosing daily to rest in him and to see him in everything; to submit to his ways and to listen to his voice. It's not about me doing good things or proving my worth or building up my personal portfolio of cute little kid pictures around the world. This is not the point. The point is going where I'm called and loving with the love he givesand I have to give it. I choose to give it because he wants to frolic with them too. I know how I feel when I'm hand in hand in a field with Jesus and I want them to know that freedom too.

The Tears Fall Hard: the struggle of compassion, pain and myself

Tue, 2 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

My heart has once again been ripped out of my chest. In the midst of seeing other people's pain I find myself looking more and more selfish. Ah, we're never quite perfect are we? Let me explain this day

We pulled up to the orphanage today in our little red tuk-tuk like we always do every morning at nine. Before we could even get out the kids had jumped into our laps squealing "Mommie!" in delight and practicing their favorite English phrase, "How are you? I am fine, thanks. And you?"

I usually love this exchange of love right away with these precious kidsbut this morning I was more annoyed than anything. I didn't want to be the jungle gym today. I didn't want kids grabbing the back of my arms and pinching my "muscles." They're so amused with any bit of fat on a personas all of us can attest to, they love pinching the back of your arms. We on the other had don't love it so much. Usually you just sort of laugh a little and pull away or give them a hug so they stop doing it.

I finally managed to get out of the tuk-tuk which only made the chaos build. Mind you this is no different than any other day at CPCDO, but today I just couldn't do it. I felt empty in the loving kids department, like I had been used up and couldn't even fake my way through another hug. I had to get out. So I headed towards the baby room. I thought at least there I won't get poked and prodded at, I'll just get cooed at by beautiful little faces. The worst that could happen is that I'll get peed on, but come onlike that hasn't happened before. I sit down and pick up Peter, one of my favorite babies and I am craving a place to just be alone with this kid so that I can escape everyone else and not feel that I have to give everyone somethinghug me, touch me, give me a smile, play that hand slapping game with me, hold this baby, come over here, draw this picture, let me squeeze your gut and let's laugh about how fat Americans are. I just didn't want to deal with it. So the babies were my refuge.

Until I sat down. One of the woman volunteers sat down right next to me and started grabbing my arms just like all the kids do and laughing and talking to the rest of the volunteers in Khmer. ...oh joy... Then a sweet little girl comes up and tries to give me a giant hug right over top of the baby's head. She almost crushes the kid and I pull her aside and give her a half-hearted one armed side hug. Before you know it the volunteer lady is poking at my side, lifting my shirt up to see just what this fatty stuff looks like and there's now about seven kids around me wanting something and I've got a baby in my hands who looks like he's about ready to drop a bomb right in my lap. ...sigh... Loving on people at an orphanage is not always what it's cracked up to be or quite as nice and cute as the pictures look. Sometimes it takes all you have to not just scream and run away.

looking good Amanda...real good...

And then it happened. I glance up from the mini-circus surrounding me and I see a big commotion outside. They've pulled up the truck and are packing little backpacks inside with bed rolls. I set little Peter down so he can nap and I stroll outside to see what's going on. It's not every day that the truck pulls up, either more kids are going to the hospital or something else is happening. I spy a few of the older boys looking like they are going to burst into tears any minute as they place backpacks inside the trunk. The other kids are looking on trying to piece things together as well. I head inside to find Malis and Una, some girls from the church who have been joining us at the orphanage this week. They're fantastic translators so I asked them what was going on. Malis said that today seven of the boys are being transferred to another orphanage in the province of Battambong, over 3 hours away from Phnom Penh. She told us that it was because this center was too small and that they were getting so many new kids that they couldn't all stay. And so the seven packed up their things and loaded up the truck that would send them away.

By this time many of the kids had figured out what was happening and had started to cry. As I looked out across the room I could see little pockets of children sitting and whimpering. The seven boys were fed an early lunch in the kitchen area as their friends looked on. Many couldn't even eat because they were crying so hard. Everyone stood around looking on solemnly with tears. As I watched this process I couldn't help but catch a wave of tears too. This was their last meal with their family as they've known the word family' for probably their whole lives. It was like they were getting ripped away from their one security, this dirty little overcrowded orphanage that they all call home.

Everyone gathered outside to see the boys off and as I watched everything unfold my heart betrayed me. I wasn't going to cry. I was merely going to try and offer consolation to those who were crying. I needed to be strong. In reality, I barely knew these boys, but images of them running up the stairs at the water park with a tube and flying down the waterslides with glee flashed through my mind. I saw them now with large tears streaming down their faces as they had to say goodbye to their friends, their brothers, their family. And I knew I couldn't just console, I needed to grieve too.

I watched as little Brad, whose pants are always sliding off, place in one of the boys hands his only possession, a little pink ceramic elephant. This little toy was cracked and broken in more than one place but it was Brad's pride and joy and it was perhaps the one thing that was truly his own. I know how much he loved that thing and I knew what it meant for him to give it to his friend as they parted ways.

I saw another boy give up a bracelet that he had and place it on the wrist of a boy heading off to the province. I remember him a few days ago proudly shoving that same bracelet that was on his wrist in my face beaming and awaiting my approval. I remember shaking my head and laughing about how silly it was then, just a simple braceletbut it was anything but silly now. This was an exchange of love and of sacrifice. That boy loved that bracelet, but he gave it up for his friend with tears in his eyes, not because he was losing a bracelet, but because he was losing a friend.

The sniffles and the whimpers and the tears flowed freely as they bade their goodbyes. We gathered around them to pray and I huddled over a group of young children who clung to one another as if the only things they had in the world were each otherand now they didn't even have that anymore. There came a point where I could only pray silently as the tears and the pain raked me as well.

I watched as this little shaking huddle embraced each other in sweat and tears and knew they never would have let go unless they had been forced. After awhile the driver made them separate and load into the truck. The sound of grieving children had never been such an assault on my ears before. I closed my eyes and felt their agony. It was unbearable.

And I remembered how only hours before I had felt such a sense of annoyance at their very presence.

Lord, forgive me.

I know not how to love and I know not this kind of grief.
I know not this kind of life and the suffering I see before me.

I cannot even bear to look at it.

I want it to stop so badly, yet I feel powerless to change it.
So I do the only thing I know how to do and that is weep and pray.

I grieve along with them.

I hug them with the same tears strolling down my face too.
I wipe away their tears and just hold them.

Words are unnecessary now, all they need is love.

And I have to give it.
The only thing required of me is love.

Lord, help me not to hold back this great gift!

Asian Persuasion

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

A true "Asian" pic of our little team at our house at New Life in Christ Church in Cambodia. You've just gotta frame your face with your hands or give a peace sign--what's a picture without that??

We're partnering at an orphange here in town and the kids are SOOO adorable. I want to pull an Angelina Jolie and take one home with me too! This particular orphange (we've been to lots throughout the year) is very poor and SUPER dirty.

(That's me leading 'aruchacha', a favored kid's song around the world. These kids even have a Khmer version...hilarious!)

Many of the kids were getting sent to the hospital with fevers and diarhhea and so we dropped about $50 bucks on some cleaning supplies and took over the place with Mr. Clean (or at least the Cambodian equivilant) I've washed like I've never washed before! (Mom, you would be so proud of me!) We tore their beds apart and did a deep clean on everything, down to their blankets, pillows, bed mats and mosquito nets. I almost spared the details, but couldn't help telling that on one of the nets I found a huge glob of caked on poop. Unbelieveable. So yes, I spend my days washing feces off of kids beds...how glorious! Cleaning poo for Jesus. mmm...mmm... I just pray that now the spread of infection and disease will slow because of our cleaning efforts.

So after our mornings rangling little orphans we head back to the church and prepare for our English classes that we teach in the evenings. Above and below are pics of the class Steph and I co-teach. We've got the beginners and they are stinkin' adorable and are very eager to learn English. The age range is quite a jump from 8-20 so we try to be as cool as we can for all ages (key word: try). Everyone seems to love singing "Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?" and hey, they learn how to answer questions...and sometimes we really bring cookies. How's that for cool?

On Saturday's we have youth group and were asked to lead worship, do a game, and tell about our travels around the world and what we've seen God do in other nations. It was an awesome time as we shared a powerpoint with pictures from the trip and had them ask questions. These teens are really on fire for God and it's awesome to see their passion...even if our worship wasn't quite the Hillsongs style they're used to. I don't think we rock it in quite the same way! ha.

The girls and I have also been leading a small group Bible study with some of the older girls before English class. They're really into understanding the bible and ask some killer questions. Learning the vocab is probably the toughest thing for both them and us. You try explaining longsuffering, persecution, faithfulness and conceited once and see how fun it is. I think sometimes we look like idiots trying to find new ways to explain words we'd never have to explain in America--but it's still a lot of fun!

And sometimes we take our new friends out for pizza! Or did she take us? Anywho, Sok Lee has quickly become a favorite among our group. Her English is near perfect and she's full of stories of Cambodian history as well as Christianity in the South East. I think we're all sad she's moving up to Siem Reap this week. :( Boo!

Nevertheless, we're all having a blast here in Cambodia and we've got two full weeks before we head back to Bangkok for our flight to Hong Kong. Can you believe we only have ONE country left? Time sure does fly!

He who has an ear, let him hear.

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Revelation 1:17-19 Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one.

I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades. Write therefore the things that you have seen,

those that are and those that are to take place after this.

I've been studying the book of Revelation a bit these days and was intrigued by the admonitions given to John by an angel of the Lord for the seven churches of Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea. Studying Revelation scares most away because it's viewed as a difficult book to truly understand. I can definitely relate and have steered away from it myself for the same reason, but as I read this beginning warning to his churches straight from the heart of God I am struck by how stinkin' easy it is and how much it speaks to our church today. Recognize who you serve, thank him for the good, repent for the bad, head the caution and reap your reward as you conquer sin and death. Why do we complicate things so?

Recognize who you serve: Jesus Christ

2:1 The words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand, who walks among the seven golden lampstands.

2:8 The words of the first and the last, who died and came to life.

2:12 The words of him who has the sharp two-edged sword.

2:18 The words of the Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire, and whose feet are like burnished bronze.

3:1 The words of him who has the seven spirits of God and the seven stars.

3:7 The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens.

3:14 The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God's creation.

Thank him for the GOOD in the Church

2:2-3 I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary.

2:9 I know your tribulation and your poverty (but you are rich) and the slander of those who say that they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan.

2:13 I know where you dwell, where Satan's throne is. Yet you hold fast my name, and you did not deny my faith even in the days of Antipas my faithful witness, who was killed among you, where Satan dwells.

2:19 I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first.

3:8-10 I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. Behold, I will make those of the synagogue of Satan who say that they are Jews and are not, but lie---behold, I will make them come and bow down before your feet and they will learn that I have loved you. Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth.

Repent for the BAD in the Church

2:4 But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.

2:14-15 But I have a few things against you: you have some there who hold the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, so that they might eat food sacrificed to idols and practice sexual immorality. So also you have some who hold the teaching of the Nicolaitans.

2:20 But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols.

3:1 I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead.

3: 15 -17 I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

Head the caution and ACT: God's to do' list

2:5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.

2:10 Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.

2:16 Therefore repent. If not, I will come to you soon and war against them with the sword of my mouth.

2:21 -25 I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality. Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her works, and I will strike her children dead. And all the churches will know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you as your works deserve. But to the rest of you in Thyatira, who do not hold this teaching, who have not learned what some call the deep things of Satan, to you I say, I do not lay on you any other burden. Only hold fast what you have until I come.

3:2-4 Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you. Yet you have still a few names in Sardis, people who have not soiled their garments, and they will walk with me in white, for they are worthy.

3:11 I am coming soon. Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown.

3:18-20 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

Reap your REWARD: Conquer sin and death!!

2:7 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

2:11 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.
The one who conquers will not be hurt by the second death.

2: 17 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.

2:26-29 The one who conquers and who keeps my works until the end, to him I will give authority over the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron, as when earthen pots are broken in pieces, even as I myself have received authority from my Father. And I will give him the morning star.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

3:5-6 The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

3:12-13 The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

3:21-22 The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

Come on churchlet's conquer!! I encourage you to read Revelation 1-3 so that things are in order and you know what's being said to what churchand hey, it says in verse 1:3 that "blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written in it, for the time is near." Can't go wrong there!

"Do you see this Woman?"

Sat, 8 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I'm currently in Cambodia after a fantastic 5 day debrief on Koh Samet Island in Thailand and an awesome bus ride from Bangkok to Phnom Phen. (when I say awesome, I mean long and bumpy and loud...welcome to travel in third world countries!) We're just getting settled here and are living at a church called New Life in Christ. We'll be teaching english classes at the church and partnering with an orphanage...but I'll expound more on that in blogs to come.

For some strange reason Bangkok is still heavy on my heart and the faces of the girls I met at the Well are still at the forefront of my mind. I didn't know I would find myself so attached and so passionate about their lives, their struggles, and their stories. So as an attempt at closure, I post this blog which is not my own, but that of Jim Larson the founder of the Well in Bangkok with his wife Judy. Please check out their stories and blogs on their website: www.servantworks.com/well
________________________________________________________________

She had no business barging into a Pharisee's house, let alone bothering his honored guest. She was simply so overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude that social appropriateness was her last concern. She had already suffered enough shame that a little more wasn't going to hurt, certainly not in this case.

Simon, the Pharisee, and his guests squirmed at the sight and sound of this woman sobbing uncontrollably, drenching his feet with her tears and wiping them with her hair.

We can understand their discomfort at a very strange situation. But most disconcerting was the fact that Jesus Himself didn't seem to mind. What kind of prophet was this, to allow such a woman touch him so inappropriately?

It was a teaching moment; a chance to explain to a Pharisee what God is really after.

Jesus sets up a simple parable of a lender who forgives two debts, one large and small. Which debtor will respond with more love and gratitude? Simon took the point.

What kind of prophet was this, to allow such a woman to touch him so inappropriately?

"I suppose the one who was forgiven more." But Jesus wasn't finished. Turning His full attention to the woman, He asked Simon a far more pointed question.

"Do you see this woman?"

Hundreds of thousands of women in Thailand are trapped in its huge sex industry. "Toi" is a virtual orphan. Her mother died when she was a toddler and her father left home to become a Buddhist monk. With two children from a deadbeat father, and only a sixth grade education, Toi felt she had no other choice but to work as a prostitute.

"Am" has 4 children from two different fathers. The first is in jail for drug dealing, the second died last year. Her drug-addicted mom pressures her for money, even with so many children. On top of that, her younger sister also went to prison for drugs, leaving behind a small daughter for Am to take care of. With so many children crying for food, Am made the difficult decision to work as a prostitute.

"Plah", 25, recently finished a nine-month jail term for a violent offenseshe attacked a former boyfriend, probably high on amphetamines. Prior to that she had spent eight years working as a dancer in Bangkok bars, and was in and out of jail on drug charges. She has two children from two different past relationships.

"Do you see this woman?"

Prostitution makes people, including Christians, squirm and flee. Certainly part of that is for good reasonit is an ugly and dangerous business. But there is also a bit of Pharisee in all of us, judging sinful behavior without concern for the heart. Yet when we pause to look deeper into the eyes of the prostitute, we see an image of the living God dying for lack of love, often hopeless, driven to such a life out of desperation.

My wife and I moved to Bangkok last year because God showed us this very picture. We felt deep compassion, knowing how many were trapped in this life. Yet even so, when we first began meeting some of the women working in Bangkok's hundreds of bars we were as nervous as anyone might be. But we quickly found them very ready to respond to our desire for friendship. Perhaps they know the game of false love so well that they recognize the real thing far quicker than most, and value it more. Some, like Am and Plah, have come to know Jesus, left the industry for good and are now in a work-study discipleship program begun by our ministry. Others like Toi are still in the business, but we consider them to be dear friends. Toi calls us "Mama" and "Papa".

"Do you see this woman?"

She was a sinner, Simon was right about that. She had made choices. Indeed, the majority of the women we meet also know they are responsible, that even their tough circumstances do not justify compromising themselves and the men they serve. But that guilt only adds to their bondage. "I am no good because I do this," we have been told. In fact, some see this life as all they are good for.

How many sinners go unreached because Christians do not really see their hearts? We see their behavior and back away uncomfortably, oblivious to the deep desire for love and significance that drives them to sin in the first place. The world is a cruel place, and adorable but mistreated girls and boys grow up to be prostitutes and drug dealers. Most of these have never had someone let them know they are important apart from feminine seductiveness or male toughness. So love-starved they are that when someone finally does look them in the eye and show that they are truly valued, even the toughest or most seductive exterior can melt completely away.

That woman at Simon's house gave Jesus an amazing gift of love. Similar gifts await those who will follow Jesus in showing His forgiveness to those who don't even know what forgiveness is. You don't have to feel like a gifted evangelist. We sure don't feel like we know what we're doing, but we do know that any Christian can love, can show someone his or her unconditional value to God.

All we need to do is open our eyes.

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My eyes were truly opened during this last month of ministry. I saw things I never asked to see nor did I want to see, but I allowed God to take me there. I allowed Him to reveal His heart for these girls and this place and I'll never be the same . . . only because I've seen.

You can also "see" and you don't necessarily have to book your flight to Bangkok tomorrow to take in all the sights and sounds of the city. There are things you can do even from your computer chair at home. Check out the Well's website and read Jim's blog and the stories of the girls he tells about.

Then contact their office in Illinois and order some Christmas cards or jewelry--you're going to buy this stuff anyway right? Christmas is just around the corner! Why not support some women who have made it out of this horrendous cycle and are on their way towards a life of freedom in Christ instead of supporting WalMart?

Ok, this post is not meant to guilt-trip you into supporting a ministry, but rather to urge you to stay informed on these issues. The world needs people who SEE!

Teen Angst: Rebellion leading to Redemption

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Teen angst. I see it swirling around me as I spend the afternoons at Center 1 of the Well. It almost makes me laugh. Seeing a beer can with cigarette butts being carted down the stairs from one of the girl's rooms and Daddy Jim's concerned face just floods the memories back for me. I was there. My parents found the cigarettes I hid in my dresser too. I had that conversation. I was in their shoes. I see it all unfold before my eyes and it brings a bit of a smirk to my face. I shake my head and say it "teenagers"

I go back to the project I'm currently working on for the Well interviewing all the girls to make little bios of their stories for their records. Nuch (noot), the student intern there who is translating for me, puts her hand on my leg like she always does, nods her head and says, "Okay. We are ready?" Gun is the next interviewee. She is only 16 years old and is one of the newer girls at the Well having only been living here for about a month. She met Jim when he went on a night outreach in Nana and ended up coming to the Well with her friend Na who is only 14. Both girls are little firecrackers and I knew instantly who those beer cans belonged to.

Lately I've noticed that tension has been pretty high at the house. So much drama! And of course, Thai culture dictates that you don't directly talk to the person who you have issues with, you go through another person so that they will tell the other person about it. Sort of like little second grade crushes "Oooowill you tell Davey that I think he's super cute?? I just can't do it myself!" And yes, I have now inadvertently turned into that personthe asker of the cute boy, but instead there are no cute boys around. I've turned into the go between for the girls to the staff at the Well. Lucky me!

I think the girls just need a place to vent and get their feelings out a bit too, so I'm glad that I can help them do that. The translation sometimes is hard and I get exhausted trying to figure out all the little intricacies of who's with who and what's going on and who's feelings are hurt. But even as I shake my head and almost write them off as whiny little teenagers who just need to grow up a little more, there is a check in my spirit that brings me back to the seriousness of their situation.

These girls need love. They are steps away from making a decision to walk away from the Well and back once again to the bar scene they left to work here. They have the free will to do so because Jim and Judy don't want anyone to feel pressured into anythingthey have enough of that in their lives already. The Well runs much like a family in that Jim and Judy have such deep heartfelt love for the girls they bring in and treat them all as children. They are amazing to watch with the girlstheir love is so free-flowing and natural. I wonder why any of them would want to run away from it.

But then again, this isn't quite run as family was run in my house. Mom found those cigarettes and my booty was grounded! I remember having only 15 minutes a night as my telephone allowance which was severely limited for the talkative social butterfly I was at 14. I could only see certain friends and sleepovers were out of the picture for a while. I hated them for doing this to me and I ran away too. Granted, I only made it halfway down the driveway before my mom saw me with my bags packed and said, "You better get back inside before your dad sees you!" She didn't really have to say anything more to convince me. I went back home, but it didn't change the fact that I wanted out.

Obviously things have drastically changed in my own story and I love my parents very much, but I can't help relating to what these girls are feeling now. I can't help but think of the things they're running to at the bars though and how much I don't want them to be a part of any of it. I'm sure it's the way my parents felt those many years ago for me too. They wanted more for me and I can see now that it was their love for me that kept me out of real trouble.

I pray that the girls here at the Well will see Jim and Judy's love for them and that they will stay. There are just so many more opportunities for them at the Well then at the bar, but oh, we are often so easily deceived! To these young ones who haven't even been working at the bar very long the job seems glamorous. They haven't had a "customer" yet. They've left the bars mostly unscathed but with a taste in their mouths for the glitz and glamour that the bar lifestyle fronts. If only they knew that it's not all glamour and gold and good looking guys. I pray they won't have to find out the hard way.

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Please pray with me for these young ones; for their hearts to be receptive to the love being offered by Jim and Judy and also from our Savior Jesus Christ. They really need that love to hit home in their hearts. Pray also as the whole crew at Center 1 takes a retreat to the beach this weekend. Jim hopes that it will be just the thing to jump start some of the girls into the radical life of following Jesus and bring some unity to the group living at the center.

Personally I think this retreat comes at a perfect time, because I've been able to talk one-on-one (plus one with the translator) to each of the girls about their stories and some have really opened up and shared even more than I thought they would. I think their hearts are ripe and are obviously in so much need of true love. Some of the sessions I've done with the girls have turned into full blown counseling sessions digging into past issues with tears flowing freely. At the end of the questionnaire I always speak some life over the girl by telling her what I see in her and how I think God can use her giftings. They're always so smiley and thankful after. I wonder how much life has been breathed into them in the pastcan so much death and deception be broken even by simple words of love and encouragement in the name of Jesus?

I think so.

Her name is Si.

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Her legs cross as we walk by. I notice her and wonder at her sullen stare, but pass on with the rest of my group into the bar complex of Soi One. It's a slow night being a Sunday and Mother's day here, nonetheless we once again went to investigate the scene in the red light district of Bangkok. The bars are mostly empty except for the girls who line the walls and various bar stools, some looking bored and others chatting and passing cell phones back and forth with giggles.

We head outside again on our way towards another street and I stop. I can't stop thinking about her. Her face runs through my mind and that sad look she wears makes me turn around and go back. Maybe it's just a hunch or maybe it's the voice of the LordI'm really not sure, but I don't take my chances with these sorts of things. I have to talk with her.

We join her at the little table she's seated at and buy her and ourselves some drinks. We ask how she's doing and she shyly shakes her head and giggles saying she doesn't understand. I know she does but she's just shy. The bar owner dances her way over to our table to welcome us. She's a tiny little thing but carries herself with spunk and spontaneity. I later learn she's 42 but looks more like 24. She has almost perfect English and tells us that it's Si's first day working at the bar.

First day.

I immediately stop sipping my coke. Her first day? No wonder she looks sad and a bit frightened. Haung, the bar owner, tells us that Si is not from Bangkok but is from the small rural village of Buriram and that she's working in the city to earn money to go to college. She's finished secondary school in the village, which is more than most girls are able to do, and even started studying English. Haung laughs and with a glint in her eyes says that she learned all her English working at the bars. She nudges Si and tells her that soon enough her English will be very good too.

Si tells us that she is 19, but I'm guessing she is a bit younger. There is a sweet innocence about her that gives her away even though she tries to hide it with high heels and low cut dresses. She doesn't even know her way around Bangkok yet. This girl doesn't belong here.

At our little table we stumble over the little bit of Thai we've learned and try to communicate in simple English. I ask her if she misses her home and if it is very beautiful there. She shakes her head emphatically and my heart cries for her. I tell her that I too come from the country where it is beautiful and green. That we grow corn and vegetables too like her family does. I would give anything to see this girl back in her hometown, but I know that like me she wants more than the opportunities at home. She wants to go to school, she wants to learn about the world, she wants to do something she's never doneand so the city beckons.

I don't know the circumstances surrounding how she came to the city. I don't know if this was her choice or if her family sold her into this business (which is a common practice among rural communities). I know that this isn't the only way for her to make it. She doesn't have to sell her body to pay for university fees. No one should have to do that. So we give her the number for The Well. We tell her about another opportunity to make some money making purses, jewelry, and cards and also a place to live with nice people to be around. She just looks confused as we explain it.

I wonder if she doesn't get it yet. I wonder if the severity of her situation hasn't hit her yet. Like she hasn't had to actually go through with it' yet so she doesn't really know what she's gotten herself into. I want to get her out before she's really inI want to stop it before it even starts for her. I don't want her to have to face the music later when she's hurting and then wants out. I want her out now!

So we came again early the next night and paid her bar fine (500 Baht or $15 USD) so that we can take her out with us and so she won't have to work for the night. Dinner with the team is on the agenda and then karaokea real night on the town and a chance to form a real friendship with her outside the bar scene. We had a really fun night. I loved seeing the huge grin on her face and listening to her sing in Thai and her laugh at me as I tried singing in Thai too.

And then she said it.

"I will go back to work now?"

My face dropped as I realized she wanted to go back to the bar where we had found her. Inside I screamed, "NO!! We got you out of there! You can go home! You have the night off! You don't have to go back!" But I knew that I couldn't keep her from doing what she wanted to do, what she feels she has to do to get the money she needs. I wish I was rich so that I could just pay her university fees. I wish I could sponsor her and tutor herthat those were the circumstances in which we'd met. But that's not the reality.

Truth is, tonight I had a night out with a prostitute.

I pray she doesn't keep that title for long and I hope she looses it before she finds out what it really means.

World Racer Uprooted: Part 1

Thu, 9 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I don't really understand what's going on with me right now. I am moody and upset and happy and grumpy and loving and mean all at the same time. I feel like a lot of things are falling apart in my life.

Maybe who I am is falling apart, or is it who I was? Is it just that God is making me into someone new and I'm having a hard time adjusting to myself?

Change is hard for me. I like getting settled in a place, you know, really make the space your own. I like having familiarity but I also enjoy new things. Newness brings life and excitement. I think that's why I decided to go on the World Race.

I'm out exploring the world.

Ooodoesn't that just sound great? like I'm some kick-butt pioneer or something, makes me sound like I know what I'm doing, with not a care in the world, going off to really find myself' or something.

Seven months into this thing I can unquestionably say that I do not know what I'm doing. Sure I can find my way through a city of 10 million people if I happen to get lost (check out my blog on this), but really I don't have things all together. And I really do believe there's something to this finding yourself' as my family refers to my travels.

When I left to go on the race I didn't think I had to go find myself. In reality, I thought I was found. I thought I was fine. I thought I was going on the race to find out about the world, get some experience under this young belt of mine, get a little broken in, harden up, see the "real world." Yes, I can now say I've seen the world, been on every continent except Australia and Antarctica and could give you a years worth of amazing stories about all of our travel exploits. All this aside, I could probably fill more pages than all of these stories combined simply with what God has done in me

This blog is the first of a three part series. For the rest of the story please click here: World Racer Uprooted: Part 2 and World Racer Uprooted: Part 3